The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He called me tonight sobbing. He is having a hard time with his Uncle who is dying and he goes and helps him do things around the house. His uncle has esophageal cancer and it is bring ing up memories for him of helping his Grandpa when he was dying of Lou Gerhig's disease 20 plus years ago. I have known him 17 years the man is an ex marine and does not cry, I saw him tear up a few times, but this was the real deal. I said the wrong thing of course and he made me feel like I was the only person he had to call, but that I was the wrong one to turn to. I just listened and it was short and he went to bed. I don't usually let him go on about anything when I hear his drunk voice on the phone, but tonight was different and I am hoping things are becoming more apparent to him about his own life as well as the ending of others cut short. Sending you all love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
That sounded like the use of compassion from you...hmmmm...sounded good too and why not...drunk, dry or sober we all are human beings and sadness and powerlessness are part of our condition from time to time.
Thanks Jerry, I have handed him over fully! It still saddens me that he is still saying things like I left him when he needed me most and things like that, but I broke somewhere along the lines and have been putting myself back together with the help of Al-anon. It is up to to him to do his own work, just sad.
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Thanks for sharing this.... I think it's all a part of OUR process of recovery.... it certainly wasn't a straight line, but I definitely moved along the spectrum with my A, from anger.... to sympathy..... and finally to empathy....
I'm glad your A was able to call you, and glad you were able to show him some compassion..... No, it wasn't a "Hallmark moment" - perhaps for either one of you - but it shows growth on BOTH your parts..... good stuff.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Bf, Thank you so much for this post and I appreciate the esh you have received. I hope some day I can get to the point of past the anger, past the pity to a true point of empathy. Ironically I was speaking to my shrink about this fact yesterday. Hugs! Sending love and support p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
