The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I heard someone share in a meeting recently how "their own thinking" was always getting them into trouble in the past, and until they relinquished control and gave up the illusion that they "were in charge" they just continued to struggle and struggle.
It was important for me to hear that as I know that is something that I still struggle mightily with.
And this is about so much more than my qualifiers drinking; I feel like I've done a pretty good job of handing her over to my higher power, as my old friend RLC used to remind me to do so many times.
But this is an issue more with the everyday details of life--job, money, the future. Every morning I am waking up feeling such a burden. I pray and thank God for the new day but the reality is I am dreading the day and anxiously awaiting what will come at my job.
I know that the answer lies with my higher power, and I feel very connected to my higher power on many levels. But this area is lacking. I don't expect stress and worry to go away. But I feel so "weighed down" by everything that is happening in my life.
I can identify with this one too. Sometimes changes do need to be made and I don't know if that's the case for you. You generally turn over your will and expectations to your higher power, but if you truly can't stand your job or are miserable in a relationship - It's not your HP that's going to do the footwork to fix that situation. Not saying that is the situation with you but for me....Knowing when to let go versus make necessary change was (and continues to be the biggie). The wisdom to know the difference is REALLY challenging....
Funny you say that, the one thing that has brought me some peace and positive feelings in the last day or so has been working on my resume and applying for jobs here and there...It just feels like that is the "right" thing to do. So maybe that is guidance from my higher power right there...
I am happy to see your name every time you post. (And am sorry you are having some struggles.)
I still find you such an inspiration--it was like all of a sudden, everything just started clicking. You've really been working at it.
I think that in addition to the hyper-vigilance and holding the world together by an act of will feeling that all Al-Anons experience, it must be harder for those of you who are testosterone-based. Because you are programmed from toddlerhood to be in charge and to be responsible.
The most capable of the three Shrinks I was working for at one time, answered my question of "Why do men beat themselves up so much for every little mistake they make?" with: Well, if you and your husband and my wife and I were out grazing in some pre-historic field and a big predator came along, it would be us men who would be expected to put our lives on the line. And after that I never failed to appreciate--well, I hope I didn[t--how hard it can be, just being a male. I always knew I was so lucky to be female, and would not have traded places, I don't care what Freud said.
So, having said all that--try to give yourself some slack. You've come very far. And your children are so blessed because of you.
Hugs, Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
I dounderstand the dread that hangs over our heads when jobs start reorganizing and changing.
I hit a bottom with that a number of years back and decided i could only Let Go of the fear and Let God handle the job reorganization. in the mean time, I did the best job I could, stayed away from all gossip and fear mongers and trusted HP to handle the rest
It worked I eventually retired from the company after receiving a promotion. If sending out resume is making you feel better then please keep doing that
Thanks for being here.
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 13th of July 2012 08:54:12 AM
Every situation in our lives has a part for us , figure out what that is , do it and leave the outcome to God . If concerned about a job ending , start looking and applying for a new one , if money is the situation review and change what you can . We still have to do the footwork . just my opinion . Louise
As hard as it is to let go and let God I swear the more I meddle the more trouble I get into. As the saying goes my mind is like a bad neighborhood, .. it's a terrible place to go alone. I'm so glad I don't have to go there alone anymore and I can take the God of my understanding with me.
I know for me I have spent so much time and wasted energy focusing on the dread, the what if's, and 90% of what it is I'm worried about hasn't come to pass. Now that 10%? How much control do I really have over that anyway? Not a whole heck of a lot.
If I can separate myself from my fears, if I adapt an as if attitude as well as an attitude of gratitude .. God truly does show up and show off as long as I remember to suit up and show up to Him.
Keep showing up, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Also usedtobe- Just my experience - I always sent out a few resumes here and there from my last job that had elements I dreaded (namely an awful boss). I sent them out very sporadically. When it reach a boiling point - That is when I sent out like 20 resumes a week and was willing to take the best offer just to get out. Not sure you are there yet but if you get to that point - I just wanted to let you know it did all work out for me. More will be revealed as they say.
