The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Another holiday turned disaster. My AH's family is the definition of dysfunction. They all behave like children, NONE of them know how to communicate. My AH walked into the party last night ready to let bygones be bygones and his jerk brother decided he was going to give my AH the cold shoulder and ignore him. There were only 8 of us there. Can you say uncomfortable. It just never ends, my AH does someting that hurts his families feelings, they do something to hurt his, it just goes on and on. And his parents simply worship the ground his brother walks on and my husband just gets ignored by them too, I just want to scream at these people.
So I had the pleasure of riding with a sullen frustrated person who doesn't want to talk, is sulking like a child and will probably be this way for days. I used my Alanon tools and kept my cool but I really just have no respect for his family and am tired of the roller coaster they all ride.
Do any of you simply not go to your A's family functions anymore? What are the repurcussions? How do you explain it to them.
I feel like this when I meet my family. My boyfriend's family has it's dysfunctions as well, but my family is just "particular" - using my ABF's words. How do I handle this? I am certainly taking time off my family, which is easy because my dad ignores me right now I had planned to visit my ABF's sister and her husband in their holiday house, but I probably
leave it for now, as all the drinking is neither fun nor holiday for me now.
We can only change ourselves. In the best case we can be a good example for others. I hope some time in my journey to recovery I will be strong enough to mingle with our families again. Until then I can only try to be as true to myself as possible, which means, not arguing about their stuff, being honest about my recovery but not manipulative, and so on.
I know it is difficult to handle. I wish you all the strength you need.
I had planned to visit my ABF's sister and her husband in their holiday house, but I probably
leave it for now, as all the drinking is neither fun nor holiday for me now.
We can only change ourselves. In the best case we can be a good example for others. I hope some time in my journey to recovery I will be strong enough to mingle with our families again. Until then I can only try to be as true to myself as possible, which means, not arguing about their stuff, being honest about my recovery but not manipulative, and so on.
I know it is difficult to handle. I wish you all the strength you need.