The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Something that apparently is driving everyone in my life crazy is that I've now changed how I make decisions. I am hearing a lot of people who love me a lot that I HAVE to make decisions right now!! I have to know what I want to major in for college. I have to know when I'm going to move. I have to know what the judge is going to decide tomorrow. I have to know what my AH is or is not doing. I have to .. I have to .. I have to .. apparently I've also decided I'm never going to get married again or have another relationship.
LOL .. some of this is all news to me as I didn't realize that I have to have all this decided today!! I don't know today what I want to do, where I want to move, or if I even want another relationship. Honestly today .. no I don't and there is a very good reason .. I have NO desire to repeat past patterns.
My decision making has slowed down a lot. I decide things based upon prayer, meditation, as well as time if I have the luxury of it. I also take action where I need to that is not based upon other people's comfort that is strictly what is in my own best interests and that of the kids. I also don't pressure myself to have to make a decision than I'm not prepared to make.
It is funny to watch in a very ironic way that WOW .. others have a real issue with this fact. LOL!! I know that the people in my life want what is best for me and they care about me as well. The reality is they don't know what is best for me only my HP has my plan. They also don't have to live with the consequences of whatever choices I do make.
Anyway, it's been a very interesting day, thanks for letting me share, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I am trying to have the mindset that nothing is that critical that it has to happen today. Last week when AF was gone for a week, I felt like I had to make a million decisions to get him out of my life right now for good. Today, I am realizing, it wasn't that URGENT. I can think and pray, and decide when I am ready. I feel pressure from myself mostly to make an all or nothing decision now. I have to get past this feeling that everything is a matter of life and death and decisions have to be made now. It's new for me to think things through and know it's OK to wait.
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Katfshh
~The most beautiful sunsets are made by cloudy skies~
Sounds like you are working that program sister friend!!! Keep up the great work and I would never throw a shoe at you, the exAH well hmmmm, but not you, haha. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Pushka, I think we are related...cause my family is doing the same thing to me!!!
They think I need to make decisions NOW! Well, I am not going to. When the time is right, my HP will show me the time is right...some way or another, I will know.
It does should like you are working your program and are doing so very well at holding to your boundaries.
Puska - I sooo relate to this post. I, unfortunately, let it drive me off my path of discovery. I was not doing things in a reasonable time, so I was told. The only thing that truly took me down a different path, for now, was my daughter - other than that I've gotten stronger in not allowing others to tell me what I should be doing and what I HAVE to do right now. It's funny - it seems like people only say you HAVE to do something right now if it fits or satisfies THEIR need - they don't seem to give a crap if you are taking care of you.
