The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was feeling really icky yesterday morning, and I know a lot of it was a sort of "oooh, I want someone to love me!" kind of ickyness.
I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program and tools, however, because even when I was feeling all blah I knew immediately that I need not wait for someone outside of me to give me the love I was was craving.
Let it begin with me.
I stopped at the store on the way in to work yesterday morning and bought myself a beautiful bouquet of lillies and roses for my desk. I love lillies, especially - they last so long and I get to enjoy them for several days. :)
When I got home from work last night, I first took out something that I consider my "love" basket. It's a little basket with a closeable lid where I keep mostly a lot of my Al-Anon treasures. These are mostly Love Gifts from our area assemblies, also gifts which our Area Delegate brings back from the World Service Conference. So I gather gifts from fellow Al-Anon members far and wide! (Want some love gifts? This is a great reason to get over to your local area assemblies!)
Also inside of this basket, I keep the cards I've received from my Al-Anon friends and Sponsor on my Al-Anon birthdays. These little cards carry such words of love and friendship, they really lift my spirits.
And maybe most important, inside of this little basket, I keep some letters and cards I've written to and mailed to myself. This was an exercise I took up a couple years ago from reading that Simple Abundance book I've mentioned in the past.
I cried tears of gratitude when I discovered a Valentine card I'd sent myself last year in there. I had completey forgotten I sent myself one! And I then realized it's been over a year since I wrote myself a love letter, so after browsing through all the cards and my love gifts, I pulled out a nice piece of stationery and wrote myself a new love letter for the year, and I even took time to doodle a little "I Love You!" drawing to throw in. I'll be putting that letter in the mail soon. Yes, I stamp it and mail it, darnit.
And after that, I decided to allow myself the rest of the evening to just "be". I made it a no-technology night. I lit a couple candles, watched the sun set out over the ocean from my couch, and once it got dark, I just sat on my couch and allowed my mind to wander where it wanted to go, and fortunately it didn't want to touch on anything yucky.
So, I gave myself everything I needed. I would maybe even consider this emotional nourishment. Sometimes I get too caught up in "doing" all the time -and yes, I sometimes even consider going to meetings "doing". Sometimes what I really require is some real quiet time to myself to dedicate to self-love. And I managed this all, as well, without having someone outside of me have to validate me.
Thank you, Al-Anon, for this continued growth and for providing me with the tools I need to take good care of me.
If you keep that door to your heart widely open we also will flood the room where you are at always. I know about the having someone of my own thingy however after program the two people who have always been there for me no matter what are...My Higher Power and after HP myself. I don't do as good a job as HP tho. I'm loving you sis only I don't get to stay. (((((hugs)))))
Thanks for posting about self care. I've been really challenged with that lately.
I'm on a trip in a foreign country and heading back in two days. I'm feeling sick and tired with a stuffed up noise and diarrhea and I'm beating myself up because I'm not doing all sorts of wild adventurous things while I'm abroad! I'm trying to use my al anon tools but with little energy to do much, its hard to get going and thinking in a healthier way.
I know I'll struggle through it, but right now, I'm awful glad this is here.
What a wonderful post. Today I am going to the hairdresser. I stopped going for over a year now I am back trying to look better which is such a lift to my self esteem. Thanks for sharing such an inspirational theme.
I love those days of self-care. I feel so empowered and positive about the world. I've been doing the pity party all week, though. I'm exhausted from it. I haven't been able to get to a meeting since Saturday and being so new to this I feel empty without one. I am having the instinct to isolate which tells me I need to do the opposite, get to a meeting, and take care of myself. Aloha , thank you for your inspiration.
