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I hate when the train takes me to Crazytown without my permission! Sending you lots of support right now. I'm right behind you in my journey. We're right in the middle of settling our divorce. My AH has requested spousal support and attorney fees. Guess he needs funds for his bar tab! One day at a time...
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Thursday 31st of May 2012 09:51:22 PM
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Thursday 31st of May 2012 09:52:12 PM
so, the exA gets back in town after a month road tripping to Vegas. He attended son's baseball game (first time he'd seen his son in weeks) -- and he was wasted. I was not at the game, as I was working. Heard about his condition from others. I get home after work and the game to find a large screen TV that exAH left for "us" in the foyer -- because we "need one."
all this with 1/2 my retirement money he got in the divorce settlement.
not sure what to say or do about this 48" TV. Gawd, he's so irresponsible...he'll burn through this retirement money in no time...
not sure what to think..Do I just keep it and say thanks? will he throw it in my face? we do need a tv...the kids are happy...
If I refuse it, I will be the unreasonable killjoy once again..
IMO ... you cant help "his" choices... if you could He would be sober, dependable and being a good dad instead of running to Vegas. If he chooses to spend his 1/2 of your retirement he was given by a judge. Thats HIS choice.. YOU should enjoy it with your kiddos... You owe him nothing .. IT WAS HIS CHOICE !!!
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
Good thing you're less impulsive than me. 'Cause what I'd do is take that TV back and get the money back and stick it straight back in the retirement account. I'm sure that would cause all kinds of trouble with most A's. But if my retirement money came back to me in the form of a big ole TV ... well, I haven't yet achieved a state of calm detachment that would help me make calm decisions. Your Mileage May Vary!
With all this mess and upheaval, and loss I would focus on the kiddo's.
Dad has an awful disease, at least he did something for you guys. Not oking what he got as far as the judgement.
But again most kids A dads do nothing for them. Believe me them having some sense of him caring will help them all their lives. My son will not even talk about his dad.
He has no use for him at all. hugs hon,debilyn
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Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
Hugs, .. it's not easy I swear they go out of their way not to think about long term issues such as food on the table, bills that need to be paid. Enjoy the TV, not might be what you wanted at least it's something you can use.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I understand your mixed feelings. ANY TIME my AH does something for me it is bittersweet and loaded with different meanings in my head. But i try to remember how sick he is an incapable of effective communication so why not try to enjoy whatever it is. He has said to me before that doing thing like that helps him feel he is making amends and I respect that.