Lalu: I see that this is your first post! Welcome to MIP! I see also that you are involved w/ NAMI--I too was involved w/ our local chapter & attended NAMI conventions. But, as far as getting a sponsor in Al-anon, that is up to you. I see that they are forcing you. Actually a sponsor as I should know, is a life-saver; not a requirement. Good luck in trying to do what "they" tell you to do. It won't work unless you are willing.

My thoughts are that there are two pieces to this situation.  One is their insistance that you do things their way.  The other is whether Al-Anon could be beneficial for you.  I don't know what their thinking is in making Al-Anon a requirement.  Making anything a requirement is going to make a lot of people react by saying, "I don't take orders and so the fact that you want to make me do it means I won't."  But maybe they've found that the benefits (the recovery of the people who do agree to go to Al-Anon) outweigh the negatives (the number of people who refuse).  Who knows?

The other question is whether you might want to continue to explore Al-Anon, leaving aside the requirements for a minute.  For myself, I've been through all kinds of therapy, programs, and self-help groups.  What I found is that that was very useful, some of it vital, but that it didn't address addiction issues specifically.  It was focused elsewhere, for good reasons.  It wasn't until I got to Al-Anon that I learned a lot of stuff that was never touched on by the other methods.  And come to find out that a lot of that would have been useful back when, because I had been dealing with addictions in people I knew a lot longer than I had realized.  So Al-Anon added a big piece of the puzzle that I hadn't even known needed to be added.

The first Al-Anon meetings I went to were awful.  One was completely disorganized, one was people complaining about stuff that didn't match my experience at all, one was the most boring thing I ever sat through.  For these and other reasons it took me a long time to get any momentum in Al-Anon.  Now I wish I had stuck with it more intensively the first time through, until I'd found a great meeting where I felt at home.  Some people find that the first time, some people have to do a big part of the "90 meetings in 90 days" that some people recommend before they find it. 

Of course you could also choose just not to have any contact with your BF right now, as the facility says.  My guess is that if you find a good meeting and start thinking about recovery with the Al-Anon tools, you'll have a better understanding of where your BF is coming from when he moves on from the facility, and you'll have a better handle on weathering the changes (many good, some challenging) that will be in store as he continues in his recovery.  And addiction drags us into the insanity until we lose our own perspective, so Al-Anon can help us with our own recovery from that whole mess.  My own experience is that it's helpful to take advantage of all the support there is on offer.  Nobody should underestimate how hard this is!  In my own experience, I wish I'd given Al-Anon a more serious try much, much sooner.

I started going to meeting about six months before treatment and did the six meetings and then he go sicker and I so co-dependently came to the rescue and quit going to meetings.
Six minths later When he got into treatment they pressed me to go for support for myself and I did. That was this past Nov 2011. It rained hard and even poorer out the pain and anger for months. I thought treatment was going to make everything better and it only seemed to make it worse. They kept encouraging me to get a sponsor and I kept up every excuse; if he would... They told me to try different meetings and look for someone who has what I want. One day I found someone with that quality and asked her some question about sponsorship. I never asked her to be my sponsor, im a take charge independant person and i had no clue how to ask, fotunatly she knew. That was two months ago, she's taught me a lot and now I am doing the program for me. All along I thought I was doing it for him and I'm learning to take care of myself which is helping both of us. I am also learning when things are difficult, to breathe and take it one day at a time.
Today, I am really happy with my progress and his progress or lack of progress has nothing to do with me which was a really hard concept to realize.
Best of blessings to both of your recovery. He needs your support and understanding but you need support and understanding as well. People in Alanson will love, support, and understand you like no one else did.

I am reading all the comments, and I do appreciate all feedback (sorry - I know feedback is an Al-Annon no-no unless you are the sponsor   ), but please keep it coming. Perhaps this is my biggest objection with the Al-Annon format

My next session with the treatment team (and with SO/boyfriend, let's call him "G") is next Thurs. As of now, my plan is to tell them I will go back to Al-Annon meetings, find a sponsor and try to forget my resentment that this processed is forced (glad to hear that is not a Al-Annon standard from all of you!!), as long as they allow G to do as I request which is to attend once a week sessions with a licensed marriage therapist w/ addiction/bipolar relationship experience and that has no relationship with the treatment team . I already have two therapists lined up and ready for the apt call. My hope is that if G hears opinions that do not come from his treatment team, he will learn to use his own healthy reasoning skills and I'll feel like I have a therapist that can actually support me/us and not use me as leverage (which his treatment team has actually admitted to me they do!!). While this place is getting results after years of failures, I don't feel this boot-camp style format is good for us/him in the long term (only short term, but maybe I'm wrong??). They continue to isolate him, which has me very concerned (and he has mentioned isolation as well).

On the other hand, they are getting results as no other program has ever done for G.....  Should I just take my lumps??  Note that being forced into doing what is "good" for me is a HUGE personal issue.  I still can't eat any sea food as a 35+ year old woman as fish for dinner was forced upon me in an un-healthy way because "fish is good for you" in childhood....

Your thoughts on my plan and/or suggestions would be appreciated....

It's hard to know about this treatment plan, as we're all at a distance without much information, but here's the truth: whether it works or not will be apparent.  You don't have to figure it all out now.  Time will tell.

I suspect that getting into a power struggle with the center (over Al-Anon, over other therapists, etc.)  will just divert from the bigger issues: his recovery and your own recovery.  There is enough time.  When he gets out there will be plenty of time for other therapists.  There's no deadline.

In Al-Anon we learn that the one person we can control is ourself.  There's an Al-Anon saying: He's going to do what he's going to do, what are you going to do?  Since there's a whole treatment team working on his problem, plus him himself, what better time to work on your own life and how to make it more serene and joyful?  I was always waiting for my A to shape up before I would be serene and joyful.  I didn't realize that I didn't have to wait and I didn't have to make him be this or do that before I started.  I wish I had started so much earlier!