The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I surprised myself last night and this morning. The husband was out drinking for a long time yesterday, and into the evening and night. I didn't cry. When he got home I pretended I was asleep because I didn't want to talk to him at all.
This morning, when he was telling me how miserable and sorry he felt, I didn't cry. I was calm, cool and collected. Well, ok, only 2 or 3 little tears escaped. But I managed to feel detached, and it felt SO good! I'm mostly in control of myself so far today, even though he's in complete turmoil. This is a really new thing for me!
I'm so glad I've been going to Al-Anon meetings, reading and posting on this board, and reading my new One Day at a Time book. It is a blessing to find a bit of peace in the middle of this storm!
Congrats on working your program it's wonderful to get a that taste of serenity when things are in chaos!! It stays longer and longer and it feels better and better!! Keep coming back!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I sooo agree!! I don't miss the emotional hangovers either, I applaud (((you)))
It worked for me as it did for Pushka, it felt so good that I would practice it over and over and soon felt much better. Staying in my own business is ENOUGH, I am my life's work.
Great post, this program works!!!
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Heh, glad lee... I know exactly what you mean re emotional hangover - I think I'm having one of those right now, even though I'm really trying to fight it!
It's all just so tiring, isn't it? I'm going to try to find something nice to do for myself today. Maybe some gardening would help.
That's a really good point about practicing this too... I have to remember I'm a relative newbie to all this.
Now I'm just getting angry. I don't want to go home. I don't want to journal. I don't want to hear again that he knows he slipped up. I don't want him tip-toeing around me, or vice versa. I don't want to have to take things day by day, or hour by hour. Isn't that the alcoholic's job?? Why am I paying for his mistakes over and over?
Hugs .. It gets easier. Do you have a sponsor? You mentioned you are attending Alanon meetings and if you can go to a meeting or have a phone list use it. It's totally normal what you are feeling right now. The anger and resentment are going to come up like that and it's so important to have a support in place so you don't take it to the A. they aren't going to give you what you need or say anything to make it better .. it will just wind up in a fight and it's just not worth it.
Keep coming back .. I understand I had a recent episode of moving through some very intense emotions and God love my therapist she's an addictions counselor she started to say a slogan and my response as I was crying more like sobbing was one more f'ing slogan and I will loose my mind!! LOL .. well hey .. no one can say I'm not honest or brutally honest at times. LOL :) I just needed that moment though to really feel those emotions as intense as they were I just needed to feel them. i did and they passed and things really got better it all takes time.
Sponsors truly help and mine has been on the phone with me for hours .. it's soooo cathartic and she is the voice of reason when I have got nothing left in my reason tank.
Sending lots of love and support, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
