The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have noticed something about myself that I hope to change. When someone is talking in a setting of a few people, I seem to start daydreaming. I have noticed that other people in alanon (longtimers) seem to be really engaged with the people they are listening to. They even act interested and ask questions. I feel selfish because I am only half listening. I haven't been in the program long-will my listening skills get better with time? I have lived so many years in my head trying to keep myself safe-that I think that I am not familiar with actively, being really engaged with someone's words. It is not fair to them and I certainly feel bad about it when I do it. I want to get out of my head more. I am getting better. I didn't realize that I do this until recently. Any thoughts on if this is a common thing?
Yep, I'm like this too and so is my son. Personally, I think it's ADD but to me, it's also an escape tactic. I really have to force myself to NOT tune people out It just takes practice and might be something you could work on with an individual counselor or therapist. You don't need to feel bad about it, you are getting better and you are aware of it. Just making the effort to being aware is the first step. I remind myself daily that I must choose to listen and not get caught in my own head.
nd I k now I have experienced this listening issue as ell. I was always triying to figure out how to respond to the issue and never listened to anyone else's opinion or thoughts.
Alanon Face to Face meetings gave me the opportunity to change this. I sat at meetings and learned to listen. If outside thoughts came in, I would us a slogan such as let go and le god over and over in my head, Soon I was truly listening like everyone else. When it came time to share I spoke from my heart without worrying about what I shoudld say.
Listen and Learn was a powerful slogan at tha ttime
Keep focsuing on yourself The awareness is powerful
I think I was numb most of the time. Hey there isn't a scoreboard at a meeting about what you do. The fact you're there is an incredible achievement.
Personally I'm through feeling bad about where I am today. I worked pretty hard to get to this point. I'm also through feeling bad that I use therapy, work a program and spend a lot of time on recovery. There isn't a timeline to it.
The key to meetings is that some of them of course don't fit us. Some of them don't resonate that much. Other times they are gripping.
I've been to conferences plenty of times when I found myself zoning out around the speaker. I sit at the edge of the room when I find myself doing that so if I get up it isn't disruptive to others. There could be any number of reasons why you zone out. The thing is you notice it. There isn't any reason to beat yourself to a pulp about it.
Sometimes I fit in very well with people and other times I don't. I'm no longer willing to kill myself because I'm not like other people. I do my best that's about all I can do.
