The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Usedtobe's post reminded me of one of the wonderful speakers we had at the Big Island Bash here last weekend.
Dave F., Alcoholic, from Flowermound, Texas was one of our guest speakers, and I was just overjoyed when he said the following.
"How many Alcoholics do we have in here?" (A glance around had many of the people in the convention, around 200+ people, raising their hands - this was primarily an AA event with Al-Anon participation.)
After everyone put their hands down, he next said.
"Now, I'm not going to even ask for the Al-Anons to raise their hands. You know why? Because every single person in this room is an Al-Anon. Every one of us has been affected by the family disease of alcoholism, because every one of us is family of or friends with an alcholic."
I was smiling so huge inside when I listened to him say that.
Too many times, a lot of A's tend to try to separate themselves from Al-Anons, thinking they don't have the same problems as Al-Anons do. But that is far from the truth.
My mom said to me once, and I've shared it on here before, that she has a theory everyone starts off Al-Anons... there's just an unfortunate percentage of us out there who have the physical allergy to alcohol.
I have always thought that the Third tradition that states:"The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend " clearly outlines that "nearly everyone is eligible".
I absolutely agree too. I wish my hubby would get to some AlAnon-- just not MY meetings. I see so much growth in the AA's (mostly ladies) who come to my AlAnon meetings.
I think there has been said that AA's have a thinking of "terminal uniqueness". They are so special. They could not be so ordinary as the rest of us AlAnons. It takes a lot of growth for them to admit that "We Are Family! My brothers and my sisters and me!" (Are you singing the song?)
I love the post, my early sponsor always told me it was the same disease. That didn't sit well with me at first but today, I am grateful to know, we are equal. All too often, al-anons have the same issues, drinking is only a SYMPTOM of the problem in alcoholics.
I know that when I identified rather than compared, I learned a whole lot more about myself. I discovered that it's a thinking problem, and I happen to have a problem with thinking. I've wanted to control things very badly in every alcoholic home I ever lived in.... and when I couldn't, I had a tendency to escape reality by reaching for crutches to cope.... shopping, over-working, over-eating, or spending hours on the internet.... I just buried myself in these things, I did not want to accept reality, or feel reality.
In recovery, I have noticed that it takes a power greater than myself to relieve me of my dis-ease - my addiction to control - no differently than an A to their addiction. It's like putting my hand on the hot stove over and over when I'm stuck in my head, trying to force my own solutions or sometimes just wishing, wishing, wishing!!!! that things were different - when it's NOT. I can spend a lot of time in my story that things should be different, justifying, rationalizing and defending that story, just like an alcoholic. Rather than let go and let God, I am wanting to be God. Every time I tell myself that things should be different than what it is, I am practicing the disease. This kind of thinking separates me, it is not in alignment with Higher power, it's insane. I certainly can't have a Higher power and BE higher power at the same time. Is this not living a life absorbed in Self, just like an alcoholic?
I have found much more peace when I feel at One, we are all equal. Maybe not on the surface of things, but my experience is, our problem is the same... separation from Higher power. And the solution is the same, filling that god-shaped hole with God, with unlimited power and spirit. I think everyone on this planet is trying to do just that, lol
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I remember hearing a speaker say something similar, almost in a regretful way..... something along the lines of - "for every alcoholic, there are (at least) ten Al-Anons, so in theory, there should be 10x as many Al-Anon meetings available as there are AA meetings!"
The reality, of course, is that those numbers are (approximately) reversed - I suppose it's because of the 'life and death' nature of alcoholism, whereas to suffer from "underalanonitis" is not deemed to be life threatening....
Thanks for the great reminder
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
As an addict an member of NA myself I understand how easy it is to think that once we remove drugs (or alcohol) from our lives, that we've solved the problem.
Well, as someone else posted here, drugs and drinking are only a symptom of a deeper problem. Yet another member of this board defined the real issue as a spiritual sickness and i think that really gets to the core of the whole thing.
I like to consider myself a member of ALL-Anon because I work the steps for ALL of my addictions, and god knows I have many.
Thanks for this post, have a wonderful day
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"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am for myself only, what am I? If not now, when?"
"Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life."
Mahalo for bringing that home...((((hugs))))