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I have a friend of mine who is trying to get sober through AA. She hasn't been very successful yet. I am an AA as well as Alanon and I have been trying to help her get sober. Yesterday her and I were talking to a mutual friend of ours who is also in AA. The friend who is attempting to recover is, in my opinion, just blowing everything off and wants to do it her way.This is getting to me quite a bit. I called her on it and told her that she wasn't putting any effort into her recovery. This did not produce good results. I know I should not have handled it that way. Any advice for me - I am real new to this Alanon stuff as well this online postings.
Aloha Mnsota...I learned how to say what I mean, mean what I say and don't say it mean in Al-Anon. I am also a double (both programs) and I have learned something from being dealt with by my sponsors and having to deal with sponsees...Tough Love is the best love of all. Dance around our disease and sooner or later you become aware...it always does the leading. Always saying it with love is best. Next time you see her give her an honest hug and listen to how she is doing. Good Job!! ((((hugs))))
Next Al-Anon meeting look for our detachment pamphlet and buy a fist full that pamphlet changed my life , I had it in every purse , drawer in my house just to remind me what my part in any relationship is .. allow your friend the dignity to live her life the way she chooses while you continue to live yours ..accept where shes at and love her it really is all you can do ..
I'd just write a 10th step out on it. Your answers will come from that. If you don't kow how to write one then this is really about you doing AA your way.
Honestly my instinct would be to tell her what you said above - you are really new to this Al-anon stuff; I couldn't possibly teach someone how to fly an airplane if I were just a student myself. When I began referring my ex A to his sponsor and AA it relieved me of the burden of having to try to solve anything for him.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
that pamphlet changed my life , I had it in every purse , drawer in my house just to remind me what my part in any relationship is .. allow your friend the dignity to live her life the way she chooses while you continue to live yours ..accept where shes at and love her it really is all you can do ..