The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been going to al-anon for awhile and it's been a miracle. I'm now ready to go to Step Four, but I moved to a new city (very big city) six months ago. I'm still going to al-anon, but I don't have a sponsor, yet. While I love the meetings I attend, the members constantly change and I have not been able to feel settled enough to even reach out to someone for help. Is it possible for me to do Step Four on my own using the book Bluepring for Progress? Should I continue to wait until I get a sponsor?
My ESH that I have received from other long time members is that step 4 should be done with a sponsor. There are a lot of feelings that come out and that it is important to have a support system based upon what might reveal itself.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Aloha "K"...I have (just for me) never done any part of the program better on my own. I ended up in Al-Anon as a result of trying to do my life on my own so looking for and asking for and using the fellowship is what was suggested and what I caved into doing. You might ask for a temporary sponsor to help you with the step and see how it turns out. It's also okay to go over the BPfP by yourself and then go over it with help. My sponsor (one of them) use to do a hell of a 4th step meeting using that piece of literature and it was one of the pieces we used together along with more.
Keep coming back. In support and wishing you success. ((((hugs))))
My own opinion is to do whatever you are comfortable with. Sometimes the questions of the Blueprint brings up some really painful memories. Sometimes you take possession of responsibility is rightfully not yours, but you take it anyway and then bigger problems occur in your head. Is there a step meeting in your area? We have a Tuesday night group that only does the step of the month (12 steps, 12 months). I went to that for years to learn lots of opinions about what the steps say. There is also a step board on this web site that you could use.
Be gentle with yourself. There is no one "right way".
I concur this is something I couldn't have done without a sponsor although if you have the book Blueprint you could always read through it and become more aware while still shopping for your sponsor. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Thank you all for your ESH! I have worked on the first three steps and it's taken me awhile to understand these are steps I will retrace again and again. Getting to Step Four does not necessarily come next. Your words have given me patience. And pause. I have spent the past years hardly ever asking for help and one thing that Al-Anon has taught me is I'm never alone even when I feel alone.
