The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been totally absorbed in A- and codependency-related stuff over the last few days, and it's definitely affecting my ability to stay serene.
One of the things I really miss about having a "normal" life is just sharing random things about life. Since we've moved to a new area, I don't know many people here, and am always slow to make friends anyway. Would y'all mind sharing some fun/interesting tidbits about your lives?
I'll start...
My oldest is 12, and has her very first "boyfriend." He's an incredibly nice boy, and they mostly just text and skype on the weekends, but the other week he DID ask if he could take her to a movie. His twin sister is one of my daughter's best friends, so they all went to a movie (my daughter, her "boyfriend," his sister, and their mom), but my daughter and her boyfriend sat on their own and held hands. I cannot BELIEVE I have a daughter old enough to hold hands! The whole thing still has that last gasp of innocence, and it is so very, very sweet.
My middle child is almost 9; she has struggled with various parts of school her whole life. But this year, third grade, she has the best teacher in the school; he has transformed her view of school. She LOVES everything about it, and is doing so much better with much less frustration. It is a joy to see her attitudes change, especially since I always got so much enjoyment out of school.
My youngest is 21 months old. We watched the Grammys last night, and had such a fun time dancing and singing. He has so much personality!
My dogs are also doing well; the big dog has been going to obedience school. He was terribly abused by his prior owner, and has a lot of fear/socialization issues. The dog trainer has been a godsend! We have seen so much improvement, and he seems so much more at ease now. The little dog is her usual barky, lovey self. I like to say that she was my best friend during my darkest days, and she STILL seems to know exactly when I just need a cuddle.
I think its good that we remember we are more than our problems. We often share the good stuff here also.
I live in Darwin in the Northern Territory of Australia. I have been here for 18 years. You know how they say the world has 7 degrees of separation.. well here there are 2 degrees. Its not a 'small town' perse, but its small enough, and I have lived here long enough that the degrees of separation gets less.
I have two chihuahua dogs that I share custody of with my ex husband. We have done that for about 4 years now and it works out fine. We both love the dogs. I have two cats and a large black bitsa dog. The big dog does not socialise with the other animals.
I do not have children so my pets are my kids. I love them all very much.
I live in a tropical high rise house with a small unit built in underneath that I rent out. I have a nice 25 seater plunge pool in my backyard. I live in a not very good suburb and there is always domestics and fights in my area. I often am ringing the police.
I like to travel. I sing in the shower and the car. I work in the area of Drug and Alcohol Education at the moment. I am a nurse/counsellor for Alcohol and other drugs.
I live far away from my family of origin and I see them about once a year. I ring my mum weekly. I am the youngest of 5 siblings. They are all much older than I so really I was more like an only child with a nasty older sister hahahaha.
This kind of thing you are requesting here reminds me of a gratitude list. It looks at who we are beyond the partners(family) of an addict and looks at ourselves. It will help toward our own sense of self.
Hello Stephanie - was thinking I wanted to write about this on the board, thanks for the opening. I"m 51 years young and have never been anywhere special. Two of my bus kids are leaving friday for over a week in Hawaii! Man I am jealous, they are 10 and 7! Sometimes I think, hmmm boy i sure picked the wrong parents, why couldn't I have been given to ones that took me there?
My life is busy, driving bus, cleaning two places, doing bookkeeping work and juggling my own daughter's needs without financial support from her father who always has a sob story about why he can't pay support (I clean toilets, no sympathy from me!). But - I consider myself a very fortunate person because I work for people I like working for, I LOVE my bus kids, I love having kids in my life and love driving the bus, its a charge driving something bigger than the average Neon. Even the jobs I clean at are for people I enjoy being around. During our recent snow storm (too many inches in so little time) my regularly scheduled life got put on hold to shovel snow, sell ice melt, cover for those who couldn't make it and so on. Tonight I set my first skunk trap of the season (warmer than usual winter has them moving about already) and tomorrow I will probably have one to take up to the mountains and set free.
This morning I woke up and knew I was in too foul a mood to deal with my original plans so I changed my day to take the load off - how lucky am I to be ABLE to do such a thing? So many are stuck in a 8-5 job they hate, working with people they struggle to find something positive to say about and here I am able to change my day because I woke up on the wrong side of the hormones. It's evening now and I'll probably process some payments, maybe do some filing all the while listening to old cowboy music on pandora via my roku box.
My kids are 14 years apart, my youngest has a niece only 5 years younger than she is. Today I ordered online a buffalo gold coin - actually a copy of the original, considered a rip-off because its worth about .50 cents but my grandson would dearly love it (according to him) and his birthday is this month. Bummer is, they live in Clarksville Tenneessee so I don't get to see them, I'm in Oregon.
My dog is Betsy the wonder dog (as in, I wonder where that dog is??) she survived parvo because I learned how to do subcutaneous fluids and had 500 dollars to spare, ouch! My cat smokie is ten and I thought she wasn't going to last too much longer but she seems to have rallied back to her usuall snotty self (actually a different word could be used, hint hint.). Other cat is Fred, disappearing Fred, shows up like he's never been away, (he's fixed, just likes several houses close by) and he's Betsy's pal (according to Betsy anyway).
I envy you your youngest - I wish I had mine back at that age, such a precious fun age it is! Cheers and thanks again for the opportunity to share!
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I agree, sometimes we just need to feel normal and that includes sharing things NOT about our A's- I live in Guatemala, moved here from the states five years ago. It's a whole different lifestyle but I absolutely love it. It is a much simpler (which is not the same as easier) way of life. We live in the mountains on the shores of a beautiful lake. This is a poor country and we live in a poor area which really makes me thankful for all the blessings in my life. I love the temperate climate all year 'round-no more shoveling snow for me! I have a huge garden and love it even though it is a lot of work. I spend most of my waking hours out of doors. I wake up in the morning to the sound of the birds singing in the trees outside. I get so much joy from my animals. I get joy from watching the butterflies and hummingbirds in my garden. I get joy from walking along the lake. I guess the biggest thing I love about living here is living so close to nature. When I go to the market in one of the villages up the mountain I get there in the back of a pickup truck. (Common local form of transportation) It would be SO illegal in the U.S. There are many scary hairpin turns along the way but the view of the lake is too beautiful to even describe. My life is far from problem free, but there are so many good things about it. I do feel truly blessed. I guess this is somewhat like a gratitude list as Lindaoakford said. But that's my life as I see it. Great topic stephanie, thanks for sharing.
I like this topic. I have been working on Keeping It Simple and I think this topic is nice just to chill for a minute and remember where we all came from.
I am the second born, only girl. I have three brothers. My Mom and Dad are still married and live in the town that I work in. I live 15 miles south in a small college town in Pennsylvania. I actually have grown to like where I live and also to enjoy my drive to work. Its a nice oppurtunity to pray and, as LInda mentioned, sing. hahaha. This morning my husband and I woke up at 6AM for a quiet walk. It was snowing lightly and the streets were still. We used to do this more often but its been pretty cold.
I work with small children who have behavioral and emotional concerns, and their parents. Its a very challenging job, I used to get stressed out often. Now I try to put my al-anon principles in place. Its hard sometimes. I get overwhelmed sometimes but then I have days where i can let it all swirl around me and manage to detach and stay serene. I am learning.
I have two cats. One is fiesty and wild and the other is calm and shy.
My husband is also my best friend. We don't see eachother too often on weekdays because he and I are both actively in recovery and frequently at meetings. On weekends we spend more time together. I am thankful for my family, even though I can see the dysfunction clearly now. I am thankful for my friends. I know i have alot to be grateful for.
In my free time I like to read, walk, write, drink coffee with food friends, play my ukulele, and travel...mainly. I have not been able to travel much at all lately but I have had the wonderful oppurtunity in this life to go alot of places. I am very grateful I had these moments. We always traveled as cheap as possible, staying in motels and hostels.. but I have been places and seen things. Im happy about that, I wish I could afford to travel more though. This summer my husband and I were thinking about taking an entire week to canoe down the river. This would be a cheap alternative to an adventure in our own backyard. The lake in our town, turns to a creek, which turns to a river.. and we could probably go 100 miles south on it. Its just a matter of actually doing it.
My al-anon home group is thursday nights and I love it. I also try to catch meetings sporadically throughout the week and I meet up with al-anon members often. Al-Anon really is one of my favorite hobbies right now, its actually became a way of life for me and I am grateful I was introduced to it.
Its nice to read about you guys and its nice to take a minute and just think about who I am rather than what Im going through or working on at the moment. Thanks.
-- Edited by Michelle814 on Tuesday 14th of February 2012 09:19:58 AM
__________________
Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Dog trainers are absolutely wonderful!!! Jack, is a 17lb beagle, chihuahua, dachshund mix who I brought home 3 years ago yesterday. I had to ask for a trainer to come help us because we needed a little help in our house! She is wonderful!!!
I married a ready made family when I married my AH his little girl was 2 and she just turned 3 in January. She's fabulous and keeps us on our toes!
I work a full time 7:15-4:15 job then I work a part time restaurant hostessing job on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. Occasionally, like this past Saturday, I'll have to work a Saturday night. Tonight is Valentines so I will be working and it's going to be super busy. Tuesday nights are my weekly F2F meeting. We have our daugther every weekend. I'm learning how to keep it all balanced!
I run when I can fit it in. In 2010 I was able to run 3 1/2 marathons. These days I do not have the time to train but I still participate in shorter 5ks and 10Ks.
I hope that everyone is having a fabulous morning!!! Thank you!
Great to get to know others! Also an animal lover. I have 3 dogs, one is 12 years old. She is a Chow mix that I have had since my son turned 3 and he is now 15. She's a wonderful family companion but it is easy to see that she's having difficulty getting around these days. She's had a good life but she's tired, so that sad day is not far off I fear. She will never be replaced. Two other dogs, a Lhasa and a Maltese, young and full of energy.
Between me and my A we have 3 children, 15, 6 and 1 1/2. All boys! Very exciting at my house when we are all together! We love to go boating, and spending time outdoors. His immediate family is very close and we lots of things together. Where my family on the other hand isn't very close at all. Mainly because I am in a relationship with a recovering addict/alcoholic. Oh well, I am happy!
I work 6 days a week so that doesn't give me a whole lot of time for myself. I try to squeeze some time in between dinner and laundry. Need to make some extra time for me tho. Ready to get back to my Insanity and P90x workouts! Ya know boating weather will be here soon and I have been LAZY this winter! LOL! Besides I feel so much better when I workout! More energy, more self-esteem and confidence! And I really would love to run a 5k this year. Lots of goals! Very little time! But I am working on it.
