Fellng kind of bitter and angry today! - Al-Anon Family Group

odalis · Veteran Member

Fellng kind of bitter and angry today!

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

Secret: sometimes I am angry at God for putting him in my life, how could He throw this defective human being at me, knowing I would catch him and put so much effort into saving him? It is at these times when I repeat over and over to myself, God works in mysterious ways. But I know that I am still angry with God for putting me here. All I wanted was someone to love me the way I wanted to love someone. But - God works in mysterious way, right? it is not for me to question, even though I do.

Too hard · Senior Member

Babies are lovely and bring feelings and memories of innocence and a fresh start.

But we are so often let down by the actions of the AH that is there any doubt that it is natural to feel angry and resentful.

That is the truth of the matter.

Look after yourself...and take care!

T.H.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

It is called loss and you are grieving. It's absolutely horrible to see our mate dying in front of us and we cannot do a thing. Along with the person we love disappearing so are the hopes and dreams.

I am so sad you are going thru this.

hugs,debilyn

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this- this disease is so horrible. It's normal to have the feelings you've described, given the circumstances.

I'm doing my best to process my resentments, as they had started to consume me and take my health.

I've always wanted 3 children, I have one super-fantastic daughter- my HP knew I wanted 3, so he's made it so that sometimes my daughter feels like an army of children. lol I'm older now, divorced, not with a significant other, and the years passed where I'm not likely to have any more children... giving up many hopes and dreams was anything but easy, but I've come to a place of greater acceptance.

I try not to dwell in the negative space for too long. I do my best to switch my focus on how I've always believed my daughter is a gift from God; and I am so thankful and blessed to have her.

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

You've gotten great ESH and maybe I'm wayyyy off base however when I start feeling things, strong things I kind of choose to look at it as a healing step. First off I'm feeling and even if it's anger, resentment then I know it's something I need to address in me. Yes, .. sometimes I even have the nerve to get mad at God and question what is going on. I don't think that's any different than a child having a tantrum. My understanding of my God is that He is a parental figure for me. Mother/Father and for me I think back on the times that my children have had tantrums the same way I might be in that moment. It's perfectly normal (or I think it is) to question and want a direct answer back outside of "because I'm the parent." Sometimes I think God does kind of answer that way because while we can't see the bigger picture as to the "why's" He can. I have those moments just like my own children of "that's not fair".

This past year I have also learned I can't live in those feelings of anger and resentment, because it's not a happy place for me. Since I also believe in free will then I am responsible for my own happiness. I put my big girl pants on and say to myself .. ok .. that was fun, however how's that' working for me? Well, it's not .. now at least I feel better and somewhere along the line I shift into a different area of healing for myself.

So today you are angry about not having more babies, your AH being sick, and your HP not watching out for you in your situation (I mean as far as bringing an alcoholic into it) ... at some point you have to decide (it's a place we all have to get to) what you are going to do with all of that because I don't see you being a bitter person. I don't see any of us as bitter people.

Keep coming back, Hugs P :)

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.