The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yes, I have a 'but' up there. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. If my husband can't take my son to tennis practice tomorrow night, then I won't be able to go but if I can get him to take him then I can go. So, that's part of the 'but', too.
Anyway, I think I really need to go. He's out with some tennis friends tonight at the bar and I'm shocked. He's NEVER hung out with the guys and drank before. In a way it's nice that he's got buddies to hang with because he was such a loner and depressed person before. But, in a way, I feel like it's part of his weird Paxil behavior and I don't know what to make of it. I figure he's going to keep going with the drinking for a while so I'm hoping to get to bed soon. He can shower in the second bath instead of waking me. UGH, I'm still in angry phase. I know I need a meeting, just wish my son's schedule didn't conflict with all these evening meetings.
Your husband had time out for his tennis mates and you looked after your son while he had the enjoyment of doing something for himself
You need time out for you to do something for yourself.
Parenting is a two way deal.
Its important to look after your needs and your serenity.
If evenings continue to be problematic maybe there is a daytime meeting available?
Please don't be fearful of going to a meeting, stepping into the unknown is always a challenge, and remember you will be walking into a room of people who also faced that challenge and the reward is valuable support through a sharing of experience, strength and hope.
Living with and dealing with an active A is much much more challenging and fearful
I truly Hope that things work out for you to make the F2F Meeting... It was scary for me as well, I'm sure all of us at some point had Fear at our 1st Walk in, but I will say... The Courage it took me to get there was Well worth it...
As for expectations... I wouldn't have ANY... Thats what we learn here... And Like Jadie stated, All the People in those Rooms was at One Point Were you are... My First Meeting I didn't know what to expect either, but they were ALL Very Gentle with me, and sometimes 'selfishly' the only reason I would go was for the kindness I found there that I could not find anywhere else... Now I have More Sisters then I ever Imagined, & my Family has Grown....
When You Make that Step... Ask for a Phone List... I have Learned that the List has been my saving grace Many times over... as I'm sure it has been for Many...
This is YOUR Program, YOU Need to Make time for You & Your Happiness so as you can be the Mom/Wife, or What ever it is You Want to be... And Be at Your Best ... Prayers you Take Care of YOU
Ok .. LOL .. I want to know did you make that meeting? I really hope you go and don't be afraid that you are going to be different in some way .. all of us come to those meetings with different situations (some minor differences some major differences), it's the emotions that are all the same. When I first had someone tell me (it was a marriage counselor) to go to an alanon meeting I was angry big time. I wasn't the one with a problem. I did all of the responsible things, I wasn't the one acting like an over grown rebellious teenager. Why do I need a meeting? What could I have in common with a bunch of old ladies moaning and groaning about what was wrong in their marriages? I already knew what was wrong .. lol. Boy .. did I get the wind sucked out of my sails that night. There won't be a "but" big enough when you are ready to go try anything because the pain, anger, frustration and so on outweigh all of the but's in the world. I truly hope you went, it really was what has saved my sanity this past year. I don't know where i would be right now without the wonderful support of the lovely people of alanon.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Yes, I went last night. Our subject last night was denial, our denial. And, I had to confess that I went to our house before the meeting to see if AH's stash was still in the same place. It was gone and I couldn't locate it. So, I thought maybe he threw it all out? Maybe he really is going to stop and then I don't need to go to this meeting? Well, I talked myself out of that one, thank goodness. Even if he does stop for now, it probably won't be forever and the damage from the past is still there anyway along with what I went through with my dad and his drunken abuse. Sooooooo, yes I made myself go. Not sure what to make of it yet but I can see that there are different people in different phases of growth there and that maybe I will feel a connection as time goes on. I plan on attending for at least the next 6 weeks. Thurs. nights are my only night I can really attend on a regular basis but I might try to squeeze a Wed. meeting in over the next month or so.
