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My middle son has recently gone through detox of opiates, once again. He attempted it about a year ago on his own and ended up back on them again. We, his Afather and I tried to get him into a detox program but that was not to be. Insurance doesn't pay for a non life threatening detox. Plus there are waiting lists for beds in detox units. Unknown to us when we were approached and asked for help. We did what we could to help him find help. My son and I actually ended up finding the same exact rehab faciltiy but on seperate attempts. So we felt like that was a good sign not to mention that they had an opening right before Christmas, which was virtually unheard of, but still happened for him and his health insurance approved everything. He is working an Intensive Outpatient Program, which seems to be going well. He also attends NA and AA meetings. However, yesterday he broke up with his girlfriend, whom he shared an apartment with and an addiction. Although she did go to detox she declined any type of program to work after detox saying that her addiction was not as bad as my son's was. It is still in the early stages of the break up and could still end up with them back together so I am watching my P's and Q's so as not to pass judgement on his girlfriend and her choice of professions (nightclub dancer) and not give advice either. I only suggested that he focus on himself and work his program. That is what I would do, and truthfully that is what I am doing for me, working my Alanon program that is. I think he is satisfied with his own recovery enough to stay on target but you never know what the trigger is that makes them go back. Addiction is insanity and never makes any sense not even to the addict. I am vigorously working my program night and day, reaching out for support as I need it. Reading and responding to posts to help myself. We are on a rocky road and I am going to be as supportive as I can be and stay away from advising him. I tell him that I love him and I support his decisions as long as they are based on his sobriety. It took a lot for him to confide in me about the break up of him and his girlfriend and to let me in on what she was doing for a living. They had kept it a secret for a long time. He knew she was working at the club but thought she was a bartender and waitress only to find out the other night that she was also dancing and taking at least her top off. So she lied to him and then after they tried to work things out and demanded that she quit her job and she agreed, the following day she went out and he decided to ride over to the club and found her there again. So I guess that was it. I know they could still work things out and if they do so be it. I just want him to keep the focus on his program and himself. Please if you have any ESH please send them along, I am happy to know Good Bad and the Ugly of it all. Thank you all for reading and replying.
Aloha M and good to see you sharing again. "Rocky Road" is an understatement if you don't apply the principles of the program and are using a Power Greater than yourself so that you can reach sanity. I look at the picture that you paint and don't even go toward "now what could I do with this?"....The only thing for me would be to turn it over to my HP also. God the opportunities to just turn it into Chaos would be many and great and before program that is what I did...turn crises into chaos and molehills into mountains. My biggest problem is me and my only solution is God is a thought gift from another member in recovery and it is the absolute truth so the only solution is the will of my HP and that is to get in and stay in the program which has been responsible for giving me back a life worth living.
Call yer sponsor before and after turning your son and his life/consequences over to your higher power.
You can expect lots of drama from him and in his relationships IF and UNTIL he is sober for quite some time. Due to living in a drug haze with out really thinking about right vs. wrong, we start in sobriety with all sorts of chaos. So much chaos that it would seem the addict is more addicted to chaos than drugs. Do not be purturbed too much and stay focused on you!
The long and the short of it is, he is currently on suboxene for withdrawl purposes in his program and it seems to be helping a"s far as I know. I have no idea the side effects but it appears to be similar to being on the drugs but not being high. But yesterday when I saw him he was very hyper and not able to focus on one thing for very long reminding me of his drug days but he was not high. I saw him take his meds and his counselor had said if he did both he would get very sick. He was still in touch with his girlfriend and gave me a few more details of their break up which were not pretty but dealing with 2 addicts fighting is not a pretty thing. One in treatment and one not, bad combo. It was not a good visit but I was checking on him to see how he was eating and see if he was doing any drugs. But still no signs of drugs and just overly exciteable kid dealing with a difficult break up. I'm not counselor but it seems they just need some time apart to figure things out but I have clarity and he doesn't so I didn't even suggest it. Just tries to keep the door of communication open and let him know I am availabe for support any time of day or night. He seemed relieved to hear that. Even though he said he already knew that. Good thing. YES lots and lots of chaos. It was a lot for me to deal with in just that short visit so glad he has his regualr meeting this morning just hope he makes it there. I offered to go to the family part of the meeting but he didn't think I would "get anything out of it". Nice of him to think of me and my feelings, LOL. But I am feeling pretty good this morning and hope things are better in the "daylight" for him. Thanks for eveyone's support here on the board. So back into the program I go, ALANON take me way!!
