The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Please pray for me as I deal with A son and his 2 yr bride and mommy to be who are in town for the holidays. We see very little of them, our home isn't loaded with A:) Thank You.
Also, kind of a silly question. Would you unfriend someone b/c A son and dil want you too? It is his ex of 10 yrs whom I have a relationship with which is kept private and it is so accidental they even found out. However, she and I are friends. She's not an A. Has healed, moved on and is happy. She is friends with Many of his and her friends too, but she has them blocked so they can't see her nor she them. She is not caught up in craziness, doesn't have a Mom and her mil had massive stroke, cannot speak and is total care in a home. She has given me permission to do so and stay connected via email. We text etc. We are friends, we grew to love her. We keep our relationship wit her completely seperate. Thanks. She and I reconnected when she sent me all of his pics and ammends were made.
That is not a silly question at all. I have dated a lot, and while I'm not still friends with the guy I am still friends with sisters and mothers. It sounds like y'all have a friendship that is between the 2 of you, and that is how life works sometimes. The reason for the friendship may no longer be a part of her life but that doesn't mean that you both lose out on being friends.
The key factor for me is that my friendship with mothers and sisters is an actual friendship. I don't ask for information and they don't offer information the ex and his life is a non topic. Sounds like this is what the 2 of you have established as well.
I agree with Jackie .. I still am friends with ex boyfriends family. The relationship is based upon our mutual respect for each other I don't ask about the ex, it's strictly about the mom and me. It can be a hard balance to work. Some people don't respect boundaries, that's when it becomes sticky.
Anyway, that's their issue not yours.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
OK, thank you. You validated what I Knew in the depths of my soul to be true. She is making this a make or break demand. Has said so. She treats me disrespectfully while saying she does not. She just now turned me off when I was asking what I can expect after they leave. Anyways, I "heard" her to say one thing and responded to that, to realize she meant something else with it. BUT, she just ditches me, turns and walks away as if I am a nothing and she is something. Looking down her nose.
We won't see them again, all their time is with her family. The baby is due the end of Mar. I wonder, if and when I will get to see my grandchild.
Its a heart break. Thank You for your prayers. Definately still needing them. She is about her self, son goes along with whatever she says.
-- Edited by Grace7 on Thursday 29th of December 2011 04:21:45 PM
Sorry to Hear you are Having a Difficult Time with your Family, & Ason...
I know for Me, I too was told to stop Speaking to this one or that one and for YEARS I did that, If I Seen them Out I would Avoid them as too not ruffle anyones feathers that might be Lurking around the corner, and in doing so I Feel I was Keeping myself from a Nice Person, I Was Holding myself Back because of the issues Another Had, Not Issues I Had with them... I did not Pick their Men/women, Some i may have introduced, but the rest was up to them...
I have Since appaulagized to this hand full of people for my own Ignorance... I allowed Someone else to Pick My friends for me, and that will not happen again if I can help it... I am Who I am and the People that I get along with I Will not avoid to the sake of someone else that only has Anger & Resentment for this person that are Out of my Control & Out of my Field of Their Business... I hope you Keep your Friend... I have learned I am the Adult, Not the Child... I Make my Own Decisions...
This Program is an AMAZING Place, it has brought me out of the Poor Poor Pity for Me, and into ... Bring it on HP... I'm ready for what ever you throw my way... Because When I Pray for HP's Will for me! I Find I'm in a Much Happier Place ;)
Wishing you a Wonderful New Years, & Please Take what you like & Leave the Rest...
Thank You. I have to get back to AlAnon full time. Round two. First the Dad, now the adult child and his Mrs. She matches him when it comes to liquor too. I had a reprieve...I do pretty good when he's gone. We all (the whole fam) has learned Not to count on him for Anything. In our heart to heart, I told them twice, I do Not believe what I hear. Only what I see. I will NOT give up my dear friend. For those who are biblically inclined in stories etc, what came to mind earlier is the story of Ruth and Naomi. Well, that is what she and I will be! TY for validating my sentiment and conviction. Truthfully, nothing will ever be "enough" for them, that is clear. I am not their show dog. Thanks again, for your opinions, and mostly prayers. I'm clining to them now!
