Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Progress
Post Info TOPIC: Progress
KLotus


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 142
Date:
Progress
Permalink  

Feeling more calm today.  Perhaps even good :)  I made it to BOTH meeting this week, and may even get to a third!  Today, and yesterday, I actually felt excited at work, I felt priviliged to have the opportunity that I do.  Of course, I still questioned myself, had moments of feeling absolutely unworthy.  

I know that my marriage to an alcoholic is challenging every part of the physical/psychological/emotional realms of who I am.  I don't think I deserve the abuse, but I do need to look at myself, and what I can do to change the pain I experience.  I need to continue understanding what my needs are, and how to meet them myself.  Great stuff.  

I still think about divorce, or rather the possibility of it.  However, I believe, more now than ever before, that only God can help me find the answer to any such dilemma.  I was on this path once before, I need to resume and continue moving forward on this path, again.  I need to heal from my pain and, most of all, my fears.  Good marriage/situation or not, if I need to leave I can only best do so in the absence of fear.  

I've spent a lot of time being angry - particularly about my AH using my being an ACoA against me, and hearing a select few say that my issues with my marriage are all about my past.  They aren't.  I should have trusted myself in that.  Of course, my past affects my present, but so does the immense healing and spiritual work I did before my marriage.  The fact that I disposed of this health in a time of vulnerability, and allowed myself to enter my marriage, is MY RESPONSIBILITY.  I do love him.  And, yes, my AH took advantage, but he was only going after what he wanted, and he does love me.  It's not his fault that he is sick - but it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY for getting better, or not.  

Thank you all!

KL  



__________________

"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."

 
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

You are so right! Was a very strong share. I like how you keep going.

Yes it does help so much to fill as many of our needs as we can. I even buy myself flowers!

Mostly for me what helps is I like to give to others. I am humbled by them accepting it. I chose a homeless vet to help and now another one. I am so blessed they allow it.

I did not allow myself or him to even say the "D" word. Divorce. I hung on for dear life until he moved in with an old woman of ill repukes. (Popeye)

anyway Loved your post. hugs debilyn



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3972
Date:
Permalink  

I too love this strong share! Keep up the great work and know you just inspired me big time!

__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Progress