All I asked was if she intended to keep MY deceased husbands last name.

I got back a message full of typical A stuff. So I just answered in good Al Anon fashion. Was fun using my tools. ex. OH that would be how an A tries to get the attention off them. mmm most A's do not relate to how non A's can take med. and not be using it to get high.

Oh really sounds like someone trying to take the focus off them.....

Anyway then of course in typical fashion, nothing made sense so that was that. She did make it clear she plans to not use the last name.

If I ever wondered if she was A I sure don't anymore. I talked to no one about it. My goal was done. I reminded her how my relationship with her stopped when I saw her drive away drunk with her son.

I have not talked to her since then. Nor had I said anything about her cheating giving my son vd. thus he divorced her.

Anyway I sorta figured she would go to my son. then I read his fb saying something like crawl back under your slimy rock and never contact me again....oops he knows.

So I talked to hp. what came was. "Son, that was between her and me. Had nothing to do with you." He smiled and said GOOD!!!! Before he would have gotten mad at me, why did I do it blah blah blah. But I wasn't going to have it. I held onto it as my own, my decision.

I was not hurt, there was nothing he had to fix.

Was so neat. Our relationship is so much better because of Al Anon. Daughter too. It taught me I didn't have to get into anyones business or have to try to control anything. To accept what they say as adults. I am not responsible for their feelings, they are not for mine either.

Some may question why did I do it in the first place. All I know is after what she did, I let it get to me everytime I saw her use that name.She does not deserve to use it. May be an imperfection of my own. I don't know, or left over scar from losing my first husband to aism. All I know is I feel better now.

So keep it simple is cool. Not your problem. Thats between them and me.

You don't have to do a thing, you may be right,nope that is none of my business. sucks to be you! well not really depends on the mood lol.

Hey that it your disease not mine, you have the right to your own choices. I choose not to be part of it. I just want to be part of you.

The closest I have to living with an A is my pot bellied pig. Sooo I do use some things like this. becuz ya definitely cannot control them, argue with them, they will make their own choices......one thing they don't do is leave where they have a soft bed, all the food they want, a warm fire and a goofy broad who loves the ground he walks on..... deb