Hello, I'm Laurie D.  I have posted here before only once or twice.  I have an alcoholic brother who lives in Japan.  We pretty much have had no communication for over a year, when he came for my younger brother's funeral. My younger brother was 40 and died of menengitis.  It was tragic, because he seemed so healthy and was trying to take care of himself.  My A brother came from Japan and the visit, although stressful, went fairly well.  He was drinking, but my mother said they (he and his wife) couldn't drink in the house.  I could see his deterioration, that he couldn't remember me giving a rememberance item from my brother who died just awhile earlier.  But, we got through it.  After that, my mother and I had to go out to California for another service for my brother, since that was where he lived.  It was extremely stressful for me.  When we got back, I received 30 written pages from my A brother.  It was addressed to my husband, but he was insulting me in it.  Some of it just random writings, that I have seen him send to other people.  Some clippings from newspapers.  He did call me a swine in it, and other things that I don't care to remember.  I threw the pages in the garbage and haven't talked to him since.  I needed to heal from my brother's death.

 A side note:  He has lived in Japan for about 20 years, but doesn't speak Japanese.  His wife, who is Japanese, speaks to him in English, so he didn't have to learn it.  He has isolated himself.  She inherited money, so he hasn't had to work in years and years.  He has never really held a "regular job"  for more than a few months.  He used to do art work and has had art shows.

 Anyway, so now, my mother just visited him in Japan.  She then continued onwent on to Cambodia and his wife traveled on the same plane, but then went to Thailand to visit a friend.  I have been watching my mother's house, and he left two beligerent phone messages. He is angry for my mother taking his wife away. I feel it's because he is having trouble functioning.  I was there yesterday, and the phone rang,and I didn't pick it up.  I now wish I had, because maybe if I talked to him, I wouldn't be carrying this around. The root of the problem is that I am afraid of him dying. I have been for years.  Even though I know I cannot do anything, I feel like if I don't reach out, and he dies, I will forever feel guilty. I am concerned because I think he is completely isolated there.  I go to EA and Codependents Anonymous meetings, so I know about Codependency.  I just don't know how to reach out, if I should reach out.  If this had been years earlier, I could have hope that he may be reaching his bottom. But, he has been enabled for so many years, I think he is too far gone. I hope this hasn't seemed like ramblings.  If you have read through this, thank you!