The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose his temper. It's been an amazing change. He's going to AA daily and I feel like he really does want this. He's being careful not to put himself in situations that he knows he's not strong enough for just yet. He's paying close attention to the triggers. He's being very open with me about his fears and his feelings. I am hopeful, but I am also not so naive to think it's going to be this simple. I know it's going to be a long, hard road. I know he could relapse at any point. I just need to be prepared mentally and emotionally if that happens.
I have been trying to find local Al-Anon meetings, but the nearest is an hour away and the times don't fit with my work schedule. There is only one a week I will be able to make. I have been to some of the open AA meetings with him but I need something for ME...to help me learn to deal with the recovery process and not lose myself. I have to accept that I can't control it. He can only overcome this if HE wants it. Right now he does and I am praying we will continue to do so.
It's so important to just keep coming back and learning the tools for ourselves, because somewhere along the lines we can get so lost in their disease that we find a whole other one of our own. Thank you for your share!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hi cameraGirl, and welcome! So glad you found us. This site has been an amazing source of information, support, and comfort to me, I hope you find the same!
Congratulations to you on realizing that you need something for YOU, and for seeking help. It sounds like you are both in a good place right now, and that's great. It's also great that you realize it may not always be that way, and you want to be prepared for whatever comes. Whether he ever relapses or not (and, yes, it's hard to accept that we can't control that!), he is, was, and will always be an alcoholic.
My advice to you would be to get to meetings when you can, keep coming here for support, to vent, to ask questions. Read everything you can get your hands on about alcoholism and it's effect on BOTH of you. The book that gets my highest recommendation is 'Marriage on the Rocks' by Janet Woititz. 'Getting Them Sober' is also good. Information is power and, for me, was the road to beginning MY recovery.
Hoping for the best for the both of you. Keep us posted!
Denise
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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
Hi Camaro, I'm glad you found us. You've already received some very warm welcomes which is testament to the kind and supportive people on this board. It sounds as if you already have a lot of healthy awareness of the situation, which is a great place to start. I agree with all the suggestions you've gotten. Keep coming back.
Thank you Pushka, Denise and nyc018 for the welcome!
I do plan on sticking around, asking questions and attending as many Al-Anon meetings as possible. I have seen some of the book suggestions in other posts as well and already have plans to make a trip to the bookstore! I want all the information and help that I can get my hands on. And you all will probably be hearing a lot from me.
On another note, he just called from his AA meeting and asked if I wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner there tomorrow. Since we both already had our family get-togethers, I think it's a great idea! It's exciting to me that he is so open to spending time with new people that have been where he is now and that are more than willing to help and encourage him. Actually it seems appropriate because I am so thankful for AA and what it's doing for him and for us!
You seem pretty reasonable and I like that you stated "I need something for me." You should know that he will never "overcome" his alcoholism though. He may learn to live with it and it may cause him to life in a better and different way than he ever imagined. That has been my journey in AA. I don't think you really meant to say you thought he would overcome it...just that it was his battle to fight. Just in case though I figured I'd throw in an obnoxious AA saying :) ---- It's called Alcohol-IS-m not Alcohol-WAS-m.
Keep posting. Would love to hear more about your journey.
I am glad you found us at MIP and welcome. I hope you keep coming back and make it to some face to face meetings for yourself. I am sending you love and support on your journey!
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Thursday 24th of November 2011 01:11:26 PM
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hi.. as well as ditto to what other say I just want to add............... nice car!!!!! My ex husband had a 1969 GTS 350 Holden Monaro (we are in Australia) all original. Was a great old muscle car.
Welcome and Happy Thanksgiving! I am so glad you found us here on MIP. My loved ones are not in recovery. However, for me attending face to face meetings is where I learned the tools of the program. Personally I loved the open AA meetings as well because I wanted to know what it took for the members of AA to hit bottom and choose recovery.
Welcome aboard. I am glad you are here. Please keep coming back.
Hi.. as well as ditto to what other say I just want to add............... nice car!!!!! My ex husband had a 1969 GTS 350 Holden Monaro (we are in Australia) all original. Was a great old muscle car.
Not actually my car...just a pic of my dream car. But one of these days I will have one! :)
