so sad...what do I say? - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · ~*Service Worker*~

so sad...what do I say?

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Kathleen you've got it my friend. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

In support,

Tommye

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Kathleen,

So sorry for your families loss. It sounds like you came to terms with your relationship and what it meant to the two of you. I do think (I know not suppose to state that in alanon) life lessons and mine being what they are, family is more than just the ties of blood that bind us. I also can understand that guilt of calling someone mom it's that whole loyalty thing. that is for a whole other post and topic.

You are blessed that your smom was also your friend and those are the memories that provide the help as grief passes through. I don't think there are words to express really the condolences of when someone passes. Pain is pain and everyone processes differently. Sharing the pain helps the burden. The best thing is to just be there, I noticed working in the funeral home and something that was expressed by the families, was it's after the initial passing that things are more difficult. It's when the phone calls stop, 1st holidays and so on are the roughest times. Finding a support group for grief is a positive thing and just letting loved ones know you are there is a biggie.

Focusing on the positive of your relationship, telling funny stories, as my mom and I talk about my grandma from time to time (I let my mom take the lead in those conversations), there are things I didn't know about her and things she had said to me that my mom was unaware of. It's more important what was, not the what could have been, should have been is such a must and why alanon is such a blessing to have during these difficult times.

Hugs P

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

We don't think about as we get older, our loved ones do too! Then all of a sudden they are passing on.

I am sad you feel so bad.Grieving as I always say is such hard work. Right now is no time to go backward. Best thing for me was and is to think about love.

Love is forgiving, does not keep account of the injury.I am sure your step mom went in peace with how she felt about you and you her.

I hope Dad does ok. You are right he will have a tough time with cancer and grieving such a great loss.

I know when I have to go thru yet another death of a loved one, I just want someone there. To come in and touch me, sit by me and hold my hand or just lay their arm next to mine so i don't feel so alone.

I don't remember what anyone said.What i remember is the people who stopped by,who made me food, who were just there. I know having someone come stay with me a few nights was good.

Here you need all this too!

sending you love and hope, debilyn

rara avis · Senior Member

Hugs and condolences for you loss, Kathleen.

hug hug hug
rara avis

rosielee · Senior Member

im sorry for your sudden loss.

nal · Senior Member

So sorry for your loss.

ilovedogs · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so sorry for your loss. My dad is in ICU right now and we almost lost him over the weekend but apparently he's making a turn for the better. If he died, though, it would still be unexpected for me. Sending you some cyberhugs today!

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Kathleen))) I am so sorry for the loss of your step-mom. I know this is a difficult time for you. I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that ¨In the end, she loved me & I loved her. ¨ You and your family will be in my prayers.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Kathleen)))

I am so sorry for the loss of your step-mom

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm very sorry for your great loss.

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

I am sending you love, prayer and good thoughts while you grieve. Go easy on yourself, I am sure she knew you loved her.

Ruby · Veteran Member

You are in my thoughts and prayers. God will heal a broken heart, I know because He healed mine...With love....Ruby!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.