More fully seeing my choices - Al-Anon Family Group

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

More fully seeing my choices

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Floppy, :)

I did come to the conclusion for myself that I'm exactly where I need to be, even in this past year of up's and down's.

I don't need to compare my life with others. Primarily, I don't know what really goes on behind closed doors and the packaging doesn't always match reality.

What great awareness and acceptance to be in that place that no matter what you are going to be ok.

Hugs P :)

Lindaoakford · ~*Service Worker*~

Ohhh how I wish for getting into a rut sometimes.
For everything to be predictable and know what is going to happen on a day to day basis... not wonder what mood I will wake up in, what memory will come flashing back to me, what mood will I put myself in if he is stoned, wondering if he will come home from his first job or go to hospital (he is a sportsman that trains every morning and it is quite dangerous at times, people die in his chosen profession),

the 'normal' life with the white picket fence is what I dreamt of as a child. I had a dream when I was young that I wanted a nice man who adored me and treated me well, I had a career and he rode motorbikes and played guitar and loved Elvis and we lived in a happy home with cats and dogs and a beautiful garden and a white picket fence.

What I got was abuse, dependence, anxiety, not knowing what is going to happen from one day to the next, police hiding in my garden at times.

NOt sure what I am trying to say here.. never can tell what goes on behind closed doors I guess. I envied people that had that... I ran into one of 'those' friends that I thought had it all together... she is getting a divorce because her husband is having an affair!!!!!

Nevr can tell hey.

If I look at my life and take away the drug abuse part of it at the moment... I have a great house, I have my own motorbike, my husband plays guitar (one of the things I feel in love wtih), I love Elvis and have lots of Elvis paraphenalia around the home, I have a big garden and a spa, I have two cats and three dogs at times, I don't have a white picket fence, but I do have a very large black 'cyclone' fence around my yard. I live in the tropics of Australia and never get cold (well, in general terms it is never cold), I can do whatever I want if I want to do it.

In my efforts of control and to have that perfection I craved, and the 'calmness' of predictablity.. anything that does not fit my mould of perfection, I get uptight about....

I am working on that.

never going back · Senior Member

I get that feeling sometimes, too, but it helps me to realize, as Linda said, you really never know what is going on in someone's life. I've met people who seem to have the world by the tail, only to find out they we're facing terrible pain, disappointment, and heartache. But they just seemed so happy. Sometimes I wonder if people look at me and think the same thing. If they only knew.
It also makes me wonder if we're ever really happy. No matter what the situation, I guess you can always find the bad if you're looking.
You're seeing your choices and taking responsibility for th choices you've made in the past. Sounds like progress to me---kudos!

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Flop,

As I read your post, something I heard a spiritual teacher say on a recent webcast came to mind:

Life isn't about catching up, but catching on.

You're "catching on" to what's important.

Thank you for being here. You're ESH helps me "catch on" too.

Awesome growth on your part.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

To me...

You are soooo not a Flop...You posted as a winner and I look up to winners and want to do what they do always. That is what gave me my life back in the AFG. Naaah not a Flop. (((((hugs))))) smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

My friends are all still married to the lover/husbands of their youth. We are talking almost 40 years.

They have good marriages, like and love each other. My husband of my youth was part of us too.

One of my best friends lost her husband of her youth too, but she has a serious man in her life. I do like you sometimes,look at them,their nice homes, stability and wish.....

Like you I would not change a thing in my lifes path. When we have to be alone for awhile we grow differently than ones who have depended on a mate all their lives and never lived alone.

Some people are never blessed with that Floppers. Not many women know how to live and support herself.

When you are ready you will find someone and someone will find you. You will be stronger than ever, maybe you will want someone, not cuz you need a man in your life. He is icing on the cake to your already stable self.

you sure have progressed since ya first came here. Its so neat to see people grow here at mip. hugs,debilyn

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Flop,

Your post shows me that you indeed have a rich and full life. To experience abundance within is so different than having a sense of financial security that your friend has. Your post showed me depth, meaning, purpose and gratitude. Those are spiritual gifts and awarenesses you just cannot buy. You have to go through some difficult experiences to get there.

I am so grateful for all the many colors and expressions of you for they reflect love. Great share!

Tommye

nyc018 · Senior Member

Thanks for sharing. It does highlight that happiness really comes from within. And, boredom is underrated :)

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