The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband is an alcoholic. I knew he had trouble with alcohol before we got married but I never knew how bad it really was. After our wedding, it was terrible. He was hiding bottles everywhere and lying to me about the amount that he drank. About two months into our marriage, he was hospitalized. He had an enormous strain on his heart from the amount of alcohol consumed, wound up having a seizure and going into cardiac arrest. They revived him and stablized him in CCU for 4 days. I was terrified. This is when I knew alcohol really had a grip on him and it wasn't going to let go without some serious help. I encouraged him to look into Rehab options and AA meetings. He was ready to accept it and get himself help. After another two months, he was back to his old habits. He began attending AA meetings again and an outpatient rehab program. This was only a temporary change in him. Low and behold, he was drinking again within a few weeks. ~~Side Note~~
I was attending Al-Anon meetings even before his hospitalization. I knew I didn't like the person I was becoming when he drank and I wanted help for myself. I find the support in Al-Anon amazing. The group that I attend is fantastic and so knowledgeable. I am grateful I have that in my life.
After my husband began drinking again, I knew that I had to remove myself from that situation. How long do you just sit on the sidelines and watch? I had already been through enough and I couldn't take it anymore. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I packed my things and went to stay with my parents. After he sobered up and realized what was going on, I think he truly realized what his life was turning out to be if he continued to let alcohol run it. He is now in a 14 day rehab program and really trying to turn his life around.
I had a really hard time accepting that alcoholism is a disease. I used to get angry and yell at him...but through al-anon, I have gained a lot of perspective and understanding and I am truly grateful.
I almost cried when I read this. I've only been married since June and I realized in July that he is an alcoholic. I've only been on this board a little over 2 weeks, but the posts provide insight, encouragement and support that is absolutely wonderful!!!
Welcome to MIP. I am so glad to hear you are attending face to face meetings. Living with active alcoholism is challenging. Face to face meetings for me have been central to my recovery and to finally understand that alcoholism is a disease. I cling to the thought that the AH's in my life no more asked to be addicted to alcohol than I did. When I focus on my program of recovery, I hand the disease and all of the consequences back to them. In that way, they may choose recovery.
So, welcome aboard. I am so glad you found the forum. I would encourage you to continue to post so we can get to know you better.
In support,
Tommye
-- Edited by tommyecat on Thursday 27th of October 2011 03:15:22 PM
It's a life long journey and that is ok. You are very aware and insightful to have seen how much in a short time addiction was changing you and where you wanted to be in your own life journey.
Welcome to the boards I hope you will continue to post and keep coming back, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Heather (and Jacki too) - glad you're here, and I think you'll find this board another great "tool" of your recovery....
For me, the day I was able to accept that alcoholism is a disease is the first time I saw my ex-AW lying - passed out at 9am, with my two toddlers playing nearby, after she had drank a full bottle of vodka..... I knew - right then and there - nobody would CHOOSE this life for themselves...
Tons of great people on here, and wonderful resources available in the way of books, etc...
Keep coming back
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Aloha Heather and Jackie...I hope both of you keep coming back often and using the Experiences, Strengths and Hopes of others as things to work toward also. I so related to your shares because that is my experience also...I married and addict and parted...got together with another alcoholic and had to end that and just after married an alcoholic/addict who ever would want to lived like my addicted wives and who ever would want to live in that type of relationship. I had to come to an understanding and I came to that within the program of Al-Anon only I didn't come willingly...I came very near to kicking and screaming...okay truthfully yelling and swearing and threatening...but I finally came...sat down, shut up (I knew nothing so shutting up made me look smart), listened, learned and then had something different to practice than the stuff I was doing that didn't work.
Alcoholism is a disease...progressive and if not arrested by total abstinence will arrive at insanity and death...whether it is the alcoholic or someone connected.
Welcome to the board, you're part of family now and on the path of a miracle.
