The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I just had a nice conversation with my A. We sat on the patio and talked about a few different things. Nothing important...the weather, the garden, the pets, etc. Even so, it's nice to have just that little bit of him for a brief time. Then he got up and said he was going to walk to the store down the road and get a pop (soda), did I want one? I said sure, put it in the fridge, I'll have it this afternoon. But I know he's really going to walk into town and buy himself some booze. Oh yeah, he'll get some pops while he's there. But he'll be drunk an hour after he gets back. This has been the pattern lately. He's sober in the morning when he wakes up, within an hour he finds an excuse to go somewhere for something. He's drunk when he gets back, or shortly after. And that will be it for the rest of the day. So I make an effort to spend some time with him in the moenings before he goes off on his errands and turns into his drunk/evil twin. And then I spend the rest of the day doing what I want/need to do for me. I guess this is some progress, a few months ago he would already be drunk at 8 in the morning. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. Maybe that I've finally ¨gotten¨ acceptance. I don't like it-but I accept it because I know I can't change it.
I am glad you can have those few precious moments each day . They are important and I urge you to continue.
It does sound as if you are in acceptance and the action you have chosen is to have compassion on both of you. I can hear that you are using your tools to be serene, enjoy what you can and take care of you in the process.
You know you are powerless over this devastating disease and you are living in spite of it. Good work
Good for you.
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 3rd of October 2011 01:12:33 PM
Those moments are so good I agree with Hotrod take those and keep them for you. This has been my take lately even though it seems like it's about your A what i have found is those moments really are about me. I know weird .. it really is because it is me (not in a selfish way in a healthy way) who is being serene, me who is living in the moment and me who is working my program regardless of what my AH does or doesn't do that day. I have operated out of my own program and I feel good. That sounds exactly where you are at and that's a big atta girl. Enjoy those moments because it's testimony of how you are working your program for you! :)
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
((((Pineapple)))) I also hear the acceptance in your share and hope during the acceptance you are also surrendering it. It's in the surrender that HP gets it and HP does miracles beyond imagination. I've received more than my share (just my opinion...HP has other thoughts) which have just boggled my mind and spirit. Keep turning him over to that power greater than yourself and go on with your own life.
I like this post Pineapple. Mornings are the hardest for me so it sounds like you have a nice little morning routine where you can start your day off with your loving person and then the rest of the day is your own.
You are working a good program, Pineapple. I can see it because of the self care you are practicing. You continued about your day doing what you want and need. You are practicing acceptace and detachment because you have taken your hand off others and ceased trying to change them. The slogan, LIVE AND LET LIVE comes to my mind.
