The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My sponsor encouraged me to get the book "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage" as it is part of Al-Anon conference approved literature, and may be very applicable for me. Has anyone read it? If so, would you mind please sharing your thoughts?
I ordered the book. It must have come to our house, but my husband got it first (he knew I ordered it and, I could tell, was curious). When I found it this morning he said: "that's a terrible book by the way," and he watched me, disapprovingly, as I picked it up and put it in my bag. Prior to this, he was commenting on how old it is (my copy is from 1980) - though, I think it's funny that the Big Book of AA was written in 1939 and he wants me to mind the chapter: To the Wives.
Anyway, thank you!
Sincerely,
K
__________________
"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."
This is incredible, I have almost the EXACT same story. I got the book at a f2f meeting and my wife saw it in my nightstand one day when I was at work. She told me that it was a horrible book and that it had nothing positive to say and she too encouraged me to read "To Wives".
I did like the book but it's not one of the CAL books that I turn to much. It's been a while and many books ago since I read it. I do know a few guys that really refer to the book a lot. I remember that the book helped me to better understand some of my behaviors and that is what I found to be the most helpful about it. Don't worry about what your AH thinks (Ever!) and just take from the book what you like and leave the rest.
Great ESH...you both rock!! "Don't worry about what your AH thinks (Ever!) and just take from the book what you like and leave the rest." Rocket science indeed!! LOL
I read the book, its great. Like surfingmaestro its not the book i turn too daily but it is very helpful in identifying few traits! everything helps. You will not be disappointed. :)
Well this made my morning , the chapter to the wives in AA big book infuriates me especially since I learned that it was written by an AA member and it is thier perspective not an Al-Anon members .. Bill W did not want Lois to write the chapter - as the book was for AA members. Dilema of the alcoholic marriage is one of my fav pieces of literature especially the part * what manner of communication are these * seems that is a problem for most of us .smile when you read it , read it often until you actually doing what it suggests .. my sponsors husb a long time member of AA always gave his newbies 2 copies of this book one for his wife and one for himself .. good luck Louise
-- Edited by abbyal on Thursday 28th of July 2011 02:31:19 PM
I have the book as well. It has been a long time since I have read it but the title of it attracted me to the book. I seem to have quite a library of Alanon/AA/Alateen books, some conference approved, others not.
But to answer your question, it is a nice book, but not one of those I really cling to. I think it is a worth while book to read especially if you are married to an alcoholic.
Hi, I have read both the Al-Anon book and the chapter in the BB to the wives. The Dilemma book is okay, but not one of my favorites. The part about communication is interesting but feels blaming. It is not a book I use very much. It is a worthwhile book to read. The chapter to the wives in the Big Book is patronizing and demeaning. It was written so long ago when wives were property and seen as appendages to their husbands, no matter how crappy their husbands were. I can read it now without too much anger, but the first time I read it I wanted to rip it out of the book.
