The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello MIP~Haven't posted in ages, due to personal reasons, but miss you all terribly, read your posts when I can, and keep all of you in my prayers.
Just finished Round #2 of some major health issues, and as horrible as I feel right now physically....mentally it could not have turned out any better.
As you may recall, my last trip to the hospital brought on tons of family drama, and realizations by me that just because they are family doesn't mean they care. I always thought if I cared enough one day they would too, but it doesnt work that way (accept the things you can not change). I decided after my last hospital stay to end several relationships with family and non family members because I felt betrayed and played, and when the time really came that I needed them I feel they bailed. I had expected people to be there for me when I was down no matter what, like I would have and have been for them, and it just doesn't work that way. You can't make people be something they aren't. I learned that some people use this program as a means to "detach" with an arrogance, coldness and caliousness that I never want to be a part of my life. I walked away from those relationships saddened at the loss of trust I had in my own family but knowing it was for my best.
This hospital trip I decided to go it alone (after the last trip I really wasn't up for more family drama or anymore fake sentiment), and though still very sick I was pleased with the outcome. I got to rest, and had plenty of time to do nothing but think and pray. I turned so much over to my HP that first night, much in fear, much in love, but the amazing part was I asked Him to keep it this time, that I couldn't take it back, that I couldn't carry the weight anymore and He did!
It has been the fight of my life, mentally and physically, and I know mentally and physically I will never be the same but I realized it it possible to just turn it over and not take it back, and it is sooooo wonderful to wake up and think "ok this is the day I have~it's all I need to focus on-what am I going to do with it?"
It's so much easier one day at a time. It's amazing! It only took 2 yrs and 2 hospital stays to get that through what some would call a stubborn head:)
Life isn't easy but it it good. I have my mother and my son, and my program friends who are always providing me with love and never ending support. I'm blessed in sooo many ways today and I owe it all to this program...without it and MIP-my very first message board...I would never have made it to where I am today.
Sending blessings, peace and clarity to everyone here at MIP
just for today....
shelly
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I am so glad you posted. I hope that you are on the mend. Although you have been gone, you still sound strong in your program. I do so hope you are able to come back again.
Great to hear from you. "One Day at a Time " is how I have lived my life for over 20 years. It is a powerful tool and enables me to really participate in the" Present."
Please continue to take care of yourself and keep us posted on your progress.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thank you all soooo very very much. I believe if you think you are beaten....you are...I think my HP needed me to start focusing on myself and taking care of me and letting everyone else "step up" while I do so.
I feel amazingly mentally strong...physically it will be a while-but I am accepting that-unwillingly at times, but I am.
Very blessed to have found you all....
shellyj
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
