The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok, so do any Al-anon members still enjoy a drink or two without their A around? I do. I don't do it often, but I have the "luxury" of my husband being a trucker and being able to do things without him seeing me with alcohol in my system or seeing my friends drinking or smelling it. Like I said, I don't do it often. Maybe a couple times a year and I get too nervous to drink more than like two drinks AND I eat with it. Anyways I was just curious....
Been there...done that and more...and have thought out the question for me.
I met the question with another question. So why is alcohol such a big deal to me?
I mean lets face it Jerry F...It's a mind and mood altering chemical which has a negative affect on every part of your body plus you gotta make like you're not doing it to others.
To thine own self be true. If I had to do so much to do so little why do it at all?
The answer is yes, I enjoy the occasional glass of wine with a meal or in the company of friends when my A is not around. I don't find this particularly odd because my 'addictions' are not to alcohol or other mind altering substances - in this I am lucky - my 'addiction' is towards fixing others and it is that that I seek 'one day at a time' and by working the steps and praying to my HP to address.
It is in Al-Anon that I have come to know and name my disease and although a struggle am learning to face it with courage and to use faith to overcome my fear of being 'me' rather than continually obsessing about the behaviour of others.
Isn't it apart of our recovery to not be controlled by the A in our lives? I, too, enjoy an occasional glass of wine or drink with friends. I know I don't have a problem. Why should I enjoy that part of life because the man in my life is an alcoholic? I try to be considerate and not drink when is there...If I was dieting I wouldn't like it if he ate a Sundae in front of ME.
But I gave up all wine for 2 years only to fine he had been drinking the whole time!
I do have a glass of wine with my alcoholic a few times a year. I don't think I have ever finished a glass, not for the lack of trying. But alcohol has never been something I have enjoyed drinking. The taste to me is next to awful. When I have even a half glass of wine, within a half hour, it puts me to sleep. I just don't like the effect.
I myself am a big coffee drinker. I always have been since I was 15. I like the feeling of the first cup of coffee in the morning. So I would rather be amped up than slowed down.
My AW has been sober a little over a year and I haven't had a drink in front of her yet. I occasionally will have a beer with friends after work every couple of months. I enjoy it but not enough to keep it in the house and put the temptation in front of my wife. it's just not worth it to me. The hard part for me is when we have to go somewhere as a couple where drinking will occur. A few months ago we were out with friends and I wanted to have a beer but didn't because I knew my wife was self conscious about being the only one not drinking. I chose not to drink to support my wife even though I wanted a beer. Not sure if that is alanon behavior or not.
Glad you posted the question. I'm certain that others have contemplated it too.
For me, I don't have to think about whether I'll drink in front of him or not because I don't drink. I dislike that taste of alcohol in general and when I did drink in my much younger days, it took only a few sips before I felt the effects. I didn't like it. I also dislike fruit juices, so wine is out of the question. I drink only water, hot tea and limit my Pepsi intake. I could be a Pepsi addict if I didn't have self-control
IF I did drink, I think I would have a difficult time drinking in front of him. I would not feel comfortable. Perhaps I feel this way because I have only 5 months of Al-Anon under my belt.
Interesting topic. I enjoy reading the responses.
__________________
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I do have an occasional glass of wine. Ironically, when my AH was out on his benders last year I hadn't been drinking at the time. I try and be considerate, I do drink when he is here I do not do it in a way that is blatant or rude. Sometimes it's after he's gone to bed (he gets up at o'dark hundred), maybe after dinner I might have a glass of wine while I sit at the computer. An occasional beer. He is so unobservant of what I am doing or not doing he doesn't notice. When I know I will be on this site, reading my lit, OR reading the bible I don't because I want my full attention where it needs to be so I'm connecting with my higher power. I would choose not to drink in social situations only because in my own way I would want to be supportive. It's pretty rare, maybe a glass once a month or so?
LOL .. Tommyecat that is my choice the coffee .. my kids don't start speaking to me until I go for the second. The first sentence is how many? I hold up one or two fingers and then they decide if they wait or not .. lol.
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I never tell him about it, although he has told me that I can go and have some drinks with friends if I want. I don't tell him as a way to keep the temptation away from him....maybe still needing some of that control? But I don't do it enough to want to keep alcohol in the house. I like very few mixed drinks anyways (which requires drinking while I'm out.) I do, however, had an addiction to caffine! But I was able to break myself of it because of my desire to become pregnant and plus the health affects. I was able to actually reduce my cholesterol numbers to that higher part of normal but cutting out caffine. I still enjoy it every once in a while, but any more I keep bottles of water, that I can refill with tap water, and crystal light lemonade/pink lemonade individul mixes that way I can add flavor! Thanks for all the in put!!!
Since A's recovering or not are going to come in contact with person's or places where drinking is happening so I think you question is a personal decision for you. There is no right or wrong answer. My son is my A and while drugs are his thing alcohol will certainly do in a pinch. So even though he doesn't live at home anymore we don't keep alcohol in the house and I can't remember the last time I had a drink. I used to enjoy a occasional glass of wine with dinner or when out with friends but honestly since my son fell into addiction it just doesn't appeal to me in least anymore so it was no big deal to cut it out of my life. Blessings
For me...........I used to enjoy a nice glass of wine, or a long G&T.........now, all the enjoyment has gone. I still do have a drink at functions or dinner with friends, but its becoming less & less. I can appreciate the wine really is lovely, but I'm not enjoying it.
I'm completely traumatised by the effects of someone elses drinking.
I listen to stories in the rooms.
I am moving further and further away from alcohol.
I hate alcohol really.
It's all a personal thing.......I used to enjoy it, now I don't.
