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So its Friday night and I spent it studying w/ my bestfriend. It was good I got alot done but afterwards I wanted to go out and do something.
I realized that I have disconnected with all my friends that I barely have any left No one calls me to hang out on the weekends or to do anything.
I feel kind of alone tonight. This is not like me because I'm one of those people that can watch a movie alone in the theatre and eat at a restaurant alone. For some reason I feel really alone today.
xoxo
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I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.
I hate that feeling of being so isolated and there is such a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Sounds like it's time for you to reach out again. Our lives become so much about the A that we loose so much touch with ourselves people kind of give up on us so to speak.
P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hi there, just wanted to tell you I have been feeling very alone lately too, because I stopped reaching out to my non Al-anon friends awhile back, but when I call them they are interested in still getting together. Don't give up on reaching out and the great thing is I am in a healthier place so I can listen to them now instead of just complain the whole time these days. I have learned to be a better friend with my time away. Sending you love and support!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
I found myself where you are a while back and I slowly began to reconnect with my family and friends. I no longer say no if they ask me to go somewhere and sit round obsessing about my boyfriend. It takes two to have a relationship I had no time for anyone but the A and when I was with them all I talked about was him. I feel so much like my old self today. I go out with friends a lot more and my life is getting better and better. You can pick up the phone and ask friends family over or out start the reconnection process and do not forget your al anon family extra meetings always helps when I feel aloe hugs xxxxx
I found myself where you are a while back and I slowly began to reconnect with my family and friends. I no longer say no if they ask me to go somewhere and sit round obsessing about my boyfriend. It takes two to have a relationship I had no time for anyone but the A and when I was with them all I talked about was him. I feel so much like my old self today. I go out with friends a lot more and my life is getting better and better. You can pick up the phone and ask friends family over or out start the reconnection process and do not forget your al anon family extra meetings always helps when I feel aloe hugs xxxxx
I myself am in this situation now. I completely lost my true connections with my friends. I am/was so wrapped up in the problems with my ABF that they just got tired of it and gave up on me. No invites to go out, no phone calls or texts.... nothing. Now he is "gone" and so are they. I let it happen. I can't blame them. I am hoping for an easy reconnection with them.
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~Kat
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
This is a great opportunity for steps 8 and 9. Most people if they are truly friends will find forgiveness and want to move forward. It's also a reminder not to loose ourselves in our relationships and problems. Someone said in one of their posts to have good friends you have to be a good friend and that is so extremely true. Ironically, someone said the same thing to me about a different relationship for them the other day. Same exact issue though. :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Know that you aren't alone in feeling alone or loney. I too have over the years let go or I should say pushed many of friends out of my life. And as I am consdierably older than you, I wonder how to go about making new friends. I am not terribly connected to the people in my home group and I could go to church with my husband where he has many friends but always find an excuse not to. Personaly I have taken back up my passion of reading and try to always have a few projects to work on. Hugs your way Blessings
When you learn to love yourself, being with yourself never results in loneliness and then you have to learn how to love yourself. Another thing for me has to do with my HP, who loves me unconditionally and who I learned from in program that I was never able to outrun. I'm never alone on any level. Work at it on a daily basis. ((((hugs))))
I can relate to what you are feeling. There is some angst that comes along with changing up your life and its nice to be surrounded by people who love and care about you.
Very similarly to you, when the A left my life I found myself very isolated because my whole world had been about him. I didn't have many friends and we had NO couple friends at all. I had to work very hard at creating new friendships and building up my social network. It hasn't always been easy and it took determination and accepting people into my "new life" and learning to be a good friend to others. This I think always intimidated the A and I was so in love with him and my life and our family, I didn't feel I needed anyone else in it. I was wrong. I've learned that I will not do this to my life again.
These days, I am so thankful for the many people I have in my life. Just yesterday two friends called me up inviting my son over for a visit. I accepted both invites and I am excited to spend time with them. I would never have done this while with the A. I am a better friend back these days also.
Thanks guys... I guess it just takes time to rebuild friendships. MY A really did consume my life because I was so obsessed. I received another phone call and message today but I did not reply. Just not ready to talk I guess. I hope everyone is doing well.
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I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.
