The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For awhile I was only hoping to reach a place of serenity and I have, not perfect of course but well enough to make me happy, but now it is time to take a few more leaps of faith and broaden my scope of where I can go from here. These next right steps are going to involve decisions and interactions that scare me like potential conflict with people, saying NO, projecting my worst case scenario anxiety, ignoring what others think, among other issues. I have been focusing my attention on using as rational of thought as possible to find the root of each fear based detour sign that pops into my head and asking for help in defining my fear so that it can be handed over to my HP and I can let go and move on.
I want to pay some extra special attention to the slogans and have them ready to come to mind when I need them and wondering if anyone would share thier favorite and how they apply it in life to help with decision making and follow through to help reinforce them in my memory. Thanks for listening and sharing.
Oh goodness slogans what haven't I used, right now I can think of 3 the list may grow.
1. How Important Is It. It helps me decide if I want to bring something up, that is the go to one for me on keeping my big ol' mouth shut. It instantly helps me find a balance to boundaries, peace, the need for the last word.
2. Progress not perfection. I think that one for me helps me to forgive myself when I am not "perfect" because I suffer from frustrated perfectionist complex. I expect so much of myself and I wonder if I expect just as much and am constantly in disappointment my expectations in others aren't met.
3. Think. That represents pausing for me. Taking a moment to think about my motivation in a situation. It gives me permission not to answer because I should have an answer and I don't. It's just permission once again to stop and take a moment and breath maybe I have an answer and maybe I don't it's all good.
4. H.O.W. Apparently this is an old one, Honesty, Openess, and Willingness to try. I just found this one earlier today, I wrote it down to remind myself to try something new. I only need to be honest with my situation, have an openess to hear my HP, and be willing to try something different or make a change. Well that's my interpretation of it.
5. (see I told you I'd find more I like) Someone on the boards had this one QTIP (Quit taking it personally) - Holy moly that spoke to me so much, because life it way to short to allow other people the power in how I react to a situation. I found out I'm actually fun and even funny when I stop taking myself so seriously and looking at everything as an attack on me and my life.
There are so many really great slogans that keep me on a good path of recovery. I love that something so very simple really gets my attention. One last one that is not an alanon slogan, Be an Actor not a Reactor. An exboyfriends mother used to say that I love her dearly, that has been on my mind as well. It's my power to use or to give away, I'd rather use my own power than just give it all away.
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I need to constantly remember to QTIP (as Pushka said), remember to REMAIN CALM, and DON'T REACT! I need to take the time to think things through so I can respond and not react. Also love how important is it
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I'm not sure that this is a universal slogan but I've heard it a lot in my part of the world - try your best and release the outcome. Also being a perfectionist I often continue to be anxious about something even when my part in it is complete. This helps me to let go and patiently await the outcome. Very helpful!
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
I love the Slogans They were my entire program for the first few years in alanon They were easy to understand and real powerful pieces of wisdom that I could remember and use when I felt frightened anxious angry confused etc.
A long list of slogans with pages of thoughts are included in the Courage to Change
My favorites are Focus on Yourself and Live One Day at aTime
Every day I remind myself of these principles that I live by, pray for courage, serenity and wisdom and am confident that there is nothing that I will face that HP and I cannot handle
Good Luck
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 27th of June 2011 11:42:44 PM
There are slogans that I used every day almost like I am on autopilot. Then there one that is so meaningful to me (less heard and used around the rooms but is in our literature) and that is "But for the Grace of God". If it werent for a power greater than myself I too could be suffering from this disease. If it werent from the grace of the alanon program and a loving sponsor, I would not have any compassion, tolerance, patience, and understanding for what the alcoholic is going through. It is through God's grace that I was able to have empathy toward the alcoholics that still struggle and know its their journey, not mine.
Slogans that I use every day are Easy Does It, First things First, Keep it Simple, Let Go and Let God. Sometimes I say, Let Go Or Be Dragged. When I find myself in a tizzy, I pause, and use the ones above and do the next right thing. For me I find it is especially useful with my children. I have two little boys and the first three really help give them good direction.
Thanks everyone. It helps to have my list of slogans reinforced by others. Somehow when the list runs through my head in any given situation if I can attach a little mental note of .. "oh yeah, Pushka said H.O.W. or Tommye said Let go or be dragged (which I often think of as Let go and let SOMEONE or ANYBODY Else But ME)" it helps me focus instead of flipping through that mental rolodex over and over Much appreciated!
Much appreciated!