Having a hard time - Al-Anon Family Group

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

Having a hard time

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

I like to visualize myself as an onion with many layers. When I start having new awareness and start to heal there will be something "new" that will reveal itself. It's really not new it's just that because I have put the focus outside of myself for so long it's a "new" awareness to me. Maybe as codependents we may not emotionally medicate the same way an addict does, however by not dealing with ourselves and focusing on someone else we are emotionally medicating in seeing our past and/or present emotional hurts. Aren't we smart we find ways to do it and stay sober!!? It's about coping skills or the lack of. If therapy is an option take it and run with it. It is a good thing especially when the therapist is a good one. I know when I start to find new ways I tend to be a little more tense and of course it's all about fear and doing something new that is outside the scape of how I normally react to something. Something that an addict counselor shared that I totally apply to myself is that the good days will go on longer it's knowing what to do when the challenging ones come along. Hugs, you are worth it!!

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Good morning YFM,

I am so sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I have a friend in the program who walked through childhood sexual abuse from a parent with a therapist. She said she worked the steps on the abuse and went through therapy to release the pain. She is a member of many twelve step fellowships but I am unsure if there is one that specifically addresses childhood sex abuse.

I have had the privilege to hear one of my sponsee's fifth step where there was sexual abuse as a child and an adult. She was also seeing a therapist in tandum with doing step work. She said it felt like a weight had been lifted from her. I think you are solid in your thinking that professional help is a good approach to take.

I am sure you will hear others pass on E,S, & H on this board from both sides, sponsor and sponsee, even those who have a background in counseling.

No need to worry about the rant. I am so glad you did because I am happy to see you here on the board this morning. We're here for you if you need to lean on us for awhile.

Best,

xoxo

Tommye

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

Its funny, this therapist that I found that does the Somatic Experiencing (look it up its great for PTSD), is also trained or educated in Addiction counseling and working with people who have the childhood trauma. I think she will be a great fit...it all fell into place. She only does evening appointments (great for me), she could see me this week, on a night I have free and she actually answered her phone! My hp pointed me into the right direction :) I will also continue my work in Alanon :) Thanks for the replies! I do need some support

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so glad you found someone. Almost every girl in the womens group I did at the hi school had been sexually abused. They all had very low self esteem. We worked on loving our selves.

They needed someone to tell them it was not your fault. It can be so confusing as it can feel good, yet they hated it.

Its not their fault ever.

I had this situation that the neighbor wore overalls. I was over there one night at about age 3 or 4 playing with his g kids. He asks if I want to feel a puppy, he stuck my hands in his "pocket." gross. I ran away and told my MOther, who went right over and talked to his wife. She said I was being precotious! omg this was back in the fifties.

Almost everyone has been sexually abused in some way. Nothing to be ashamed of!

Hugs honey,debilyn

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so glad that the scheduling worked out for you. I think it is important to encourage those that have had trauma as you described to explore the possibilities of professional help.

I do so hope the appointment goes well.

In support,

Tommye

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Good deal on the appointment, just having the appointment and knowing you can go can be the lifeline between one moment to the next. Hugs!!

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks all

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.