Welcome Lyne and thanks for the share.  It reminds me of where I used to be when I was trying to manage the situation, my own life.  I thought and said the same things you have said here and what I thought and said kept me in the problem of trying to live in an addictive relationship without help from others.  Fear kept me from changing and from getting into and staying in the rooms of Al-Anon so it took me two trips.  I learned many things, only one of them being that "I had no choice about changing".  The clearer vision was not that I couldn't change but that I wouldn't change for lots of unreal reasons.  I justified being sick and why I should be sick only that didn't go over well while attending the program...everyone else was getting better even those who had situations much more worse than I. 

If you're using complete awareness that "you know all about..." then for now you're done...toast.  It's a life sentence and you'll never find reprieve.  Only you don't know all about it...I've been in Al-Anon since 1979 and so have others here and like them I am still learning from others.  I keep coming back and like they suggest sit, listen with an open mind, follow the suggestions and practice, practice, practice.  This is a family disease.  Like you I only thought I could get by, through, around it as my family, wives, relationships practiced it.   I was wrong.  I needed help...alot of it.

The hotline number for Al-Anon in your area is in the white pages of your local telephone book.  Might have one just to the side of your computer.  Look it up and get the information on where and when we meet to find help and mutual support in your neighborhood.  Your partner already knows what you are going thru and will say nothing to help you feel better.  Someone else has to...so there I'm it for now along with all of the other family members here at MIP who will love you till you learn to love yourself.  

(((((hugs)))))

Hi Lyne.

I wanted to welcome you as others have to this board.  MIP is a nice place with people from many twelve step fellowships.    I encourage you to keep coming back and share if you will as we love to hear from newcomers.

Yours in recovery,

Tommye

Hi Lynn

Welcome to MIP and alanon  I am sure you are aware that alcoholism is a disease and all who live with or interact witht the disease become affected. 

 I know I was sicker than my alcoholic husband when I finally surrendered and walked thru the doors of alanon .

 You deserve a happy life .  I urge you to give us a try  Help in finding face to face alanon meetings can be  found at the following web site:http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html Or call: 1-888-4alan

Please do not let your sexual preference stand in your way  I have a gay sponsee and because this is a apiritual program it is a non issue.  The problems that we face living with this disease  are human and universal.

Keep comiong backit works  

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