The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been doing fairly well, the last few days... still trying to rest & not stress out too much, which is extremelely difficult for me, I stress about everything compulsively.
I am sensitive & empathetic, I did healing work for over 10 years. The last 2 years, I have taken a break from it as I was so drained, I felt I wasn't at my best; and that I needed to reserve my energy for my own healing.
Needless to say, one irritated word from my mother can send me into a tail spin... I have great work to do in this area... I can't stand being at the mercy of my emotions... taking a *clue* from a Simpson's episode, I had to "bring in the love & push out the jive".
I have so many wonderful Blessings from God but like everything they are also mini-curses, I have to learn to bablance my telepathic & sympathetic gifts, so as to not bring any negativity into myself... that starts the 'stress cycle' & I cannot live in the fight/flight that I have been living in for most of my life. I would get over stressed & get fearful or angry & go out & work with a vengence. It has hurt my body, repeatedly, working in this fashion.
When I speak of being gentle with myself, this is what I mean, physically & intellectually. I realise some pretty violent things come out of my mouth but it isn't half as bad as the horrid things I say to myself.
I did buy several books last night at Bodrer's - so much for saving a $100 & buying twice as many used. I figured what the hell, I've fallen into a phase of hardly ever doing anything for myself, I deserve beautiful new books! Perhaps my HP/angels were guiding me, since the last few days have been relatively peaceful, I knew I would need the information to read today.
This is what I plan to do, read some books on my family condition... open my mind to lots of new changes & possibilities that I am willing to take. I tend to sit & talk for a long time before I do anything, then I *jump up* & make changes rapidly. To an outsider, it looks radical, to those that love & know me, it's like "about time!"
God help me to hear you today & trust that what ever it is that you prompt me to do will be to my greatest benefit.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.