The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is me at the moment. I just got off the phone from AH.. he asked me if I talked to the CAS worker about him coming home on the weekends. I told him no, and simply said that I was advised by my lawyer that he is to discuss it with his lawyer and go from there. Boy was he mad!! Started going off on me saying that I don't support him, that I'm listening to everyone else. He repeated that he will not be giving up drinking beer, he likes the taste and will not stop. All the time I keep thinking... why haven't I told him to go to hell? Why I haven't I said enough, and I am totally through? Problably because I keep hoping that somewhere along the way while in rehab it will hit him. I know I know, some of you are probably going to tell me he won't. I guess really I know he won't either. So why am I questioning myself? While talking to him I get very very frustrated. I can hear his sickness, hear the bull crap he's saying, but I know my truth, he tries to put it on me but I won't take it. He hung on me twice, I didnt bother calling him back. Why bother?
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
Hi Evian - I'm sorry, seems like they all have the same recording playing in their heads doesn't it? I was looking through older posts and something someone said, GailMichelle maybe, was about her telling her A when he drank that "I need a sober husband". It is a line I am going to give my AH, its the simple basic truth. I need a sober husband - he needs to drink and I need a sober husband so why bother going any further any more? (thanks for the line whomever said it!)
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Evian there is always hope never give up , especially on yourself . And only God knows when he wil find his miracle , blame is normal if he dosent blame you he will have to step up and take responsibility for his own behavior and until he is ready to do that nothing is going to change for him . Set your boundaries set them firmly in your mind and get on with your life . Louise
That serenity prayer has been a Godsend to me in trying times. Sometimes even saying part of it, or even "God Help Me" really is magical. It is wonderful you can clearly see the blame was not your stuff, it was his stuff. That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that today.
Hi Evian thanks for sharing. My A often hangs up on me and sometimes I call back out of anger, but usually not and I was glad to hear you didn't. It is so empowering for me when I choose not to play the game. Good for you to have hope still and to Let Go and Let God with him in rehab. All you can do is come here go to Alanon and read Al-anon literature to work on yourself and let him work on his side of the street or not. It sounds like you are doing good in the heat of it, good job!
__________________
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
