The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I told the abf that it is not healthy for me to be in this relationship of fighting and moodiness and suggested a month apart, no communication (somebody mentioned it here on the board).
He wrote back and agreed that there will be no phone calls and no emails. He agreed that after a month we would see how we felt about each other, one way or the other.
I am so excited that this is happening. It will be so helpful to me and maybe to him as well. I really can learn!
I have not seen my Abf for nearly a month and have had very miminal contact it is amazing how much the focus has moved more on to myself and my own recovery. I do love him but we are both sick and really need to focus on ourselves. I am handing the outcome over to HP if we are meant to be together. Today I am excited about my recovery and leaving his to him.
As long as we have no expectations of the outcome, this can be a growth situation.
If we have an agenda or think we know what will happen, believe me in my experience things I did did not have the outcome I wanted. Like calling the sheriff when I knew he was horribly messed up etc. did not come out well.
I would be concentrating on me, one day at a time doing my best not to think about his path.
Am sure you are going to go through many emotions and ups and downs.
We are here to support you!! love,debilyn
__________________
Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
I am glad to hear that it is working for you Tracy. It gives me hope. I think it is the right thing at this point, scary, but right.
And Gail, thank you. I hope so too.
Debilyn, I have zero expectations. I have no clue what will happen. I just want to enjoy my life. I will def be riding the emotional roller coaster. Been there done that. I do my best not thinking about his path when I hear nothing about it.
Thanks for the support. I am so grateful to know that it's here. I love you all.
Thanks youfoundme. So far so good, even though its only been a couple of days lol. Funny thing though. A guy friend that I used to talk with a lot (and flirt with lol) has started chatting and texting with me, just for the past couple days. Actually might want to go out sometime. Weird how things happen. Even if we never do, it's a great diversion and it feels wonderful reconnecting. HP at work???