The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've just found this board, and so glad I found it. I've got lots I'd like to share; my Mum drinks and now an adult, I grew up with her drinking and I know it has deeply affected me and how I live life and relate to others although I don't live with her anymore. I've been to Al-Anon meetings in the past with the intention of attending regularly and for the long term, but found them really hard, emotionally draining. I'm planning to start going again this week, I know it's going to be hard but I really need to change. I feel like I can't let it all out, even on here where I can be anonymous! i don't really know where to start, I would be really grateful for the advice and experience of other posters. Thanks:)
I am so glad that you have decided to go back to meetings. If i am honest some parts of my recovery have bee tough , painful. However I also believe that the beneits have far outweighed this. I today can trust the people in my meetings and on here I know they have expereiinced similar things to me. Been let down , hurt and felt they could not trust. The people in al anon understand the effects of living with a problem drinker. The people who have bee in programme longer than me have learnt me how to recover from this. Today I still have challenges and bad days but things have gotten a lot better. This journey is the best thing I have ever done for myself, I would not go back to my pre al anon days for anything. Welcome back to the family
I'm the adult daughter of two alcoholic parents and, at 17, figured that moving out was all I needed.
Seven years later I was in counselling and attended an outpatient treatment program for ACoAs. For some crazy reason, I balked at attending Al-Anon meetings (it was a requirement of the aftercare program) and got expelled from aftercare. But I read a lot of really great books on the subject and thought I had it covered intellectually.
Fastforward 20 years and, at the age of 46, I finally made it to an Al-Anon meeting. That was 15 months ago and I've been attending faithfully ever since. Wished I'd gone 20 years earlier, I'd be that much further ahead now!
All the intellectual knowledge and understanding didn't help me one iota, I still managed to repeatedly make poor relationship choices. Latterly I was choosing relationships with alcoholics, my worst nightmare -- couldn't understand that one at all.
Now I think Al-Anon is so much more than a way to cope with the effects of alcoholism, for me it's a program for my emotional growth.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
I think that is a splendid idea to go to a face to face alanon meeting. For me I did not share for 6 months. There is a lady in my meetings that has attended for two years and probably shared five times. It is o.k. to pass and choose to listen.
Should you be concerned about anonymity, think about going to a meeting 30 minutes away from your local group. I did that and probably passed 10 groups along the way but I felt a need for anonymity. Now, it does not matter as much where I go.
I too grew up in an alcoholic home. I thought when I became an adult and took care of my own life supporting myself that those problems are over. I discovered that I needed the rooms not only for the current alcoholic situation I was in but to clear away the garbage of the past left over from my family of origin.
Thanks so much for your replies, I really felt such warmth and feel at home when I read them. I went to the meeting last night. During the day I was looking forward to going as I felt positive about making the change. Then when I got home from work, I felt nervous and thought about not going, but I was buoyed up by the kind welcome I had had here and it spurred me on to go. Reading the kind replies helped a lot, and I decided I would just listen for this meeting and that helped me relax. It's easy to look at others and compare yourself, reading elsewhere on this board has helped me see that I don't need to, and we are all somewhere on our journey. I tend to think maybe my situation isn't 'as bad' as others as I don't live with a drinker anymore, so I feel a bit of a fraud, but I know that's not true.
I feel like I'd like to 'do' something between meetings. I've got Courage To Change, how can I start on the Steps? (Hope I'm not trying to do too much too soon)!
