The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I enjoyed my Friday as planned, dinner and movie with a friend. And yes, The King's Speech was great.
The abf told me to take Saturday to myself as he would be hanging out with his son and that it would be nice for he and I to spend Sunday night together. I was thrilled. Did my own thing, laying in the sun. I really enjoyed my day.
Then of course, he calls me later in the evening giving me a hard time about not going over. I gave him the opportunity to decide what he wanted to do over the weekend, then I get that???
So he starts getting on me about how any other person would be thrilled to go over there and I have been acting this way for 6 months (this is completely untrue). I told him that I had to go, ok? I gave him the option to hang up and maybe talk another time. He kept it up saying he wasn't stupid and he knew this had been going on for 6 months. Whatever. So I plainly said that I really had to go and said good night and hung up the phone. This is nothing new by the way.
Maybe I was mean or whatever, but I refuse to engage in an argument that makes no sense to me. This guy has ideas in his head about me and even when I make little adjustments to help the relationship, he will not accept reality. I will never please him. So what? That's not my job. And I refuse to waste my breath trying to discuss what is happening, to someone who refuses to listen.
Now that I have stepped back and looked at his treatment of me rather than concentrating on his addiction, I have really learned a lot.
To me this is completely ridiculous and unacceptable. And I know for a fact that he is sitting around waiting for me to call and apologize. Not me. I get a lot of grief for that, but I am not sorry and I am not going to pretend that I am to soothe him.
Thanks for the support Otie. I feel like I am walking the walk a little better. I am growing and I can see that. It's nice when others can see what I am feeling.
And thank you tommyecat. That is a wonderful thing to say. It would take a lot of memorization for me to remember that one though. During these conversations, love is the last thing on my mind LOL. Guess that shows how much more growing I need to do.
