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i posted here that we won the long battle blocking my girl's bio-dad from having any visitation at all with her dad, unless she initates it when she's older . that's what the judge and guardian-ad-litem said in court, anyway. when i received the final hearing's court summary ... it is the polar opposite of everything!! she will be forced to meet with her dad at a new, strange psychiatrist's office, a male, without any more support from her own therapist who she's been with for over 2 years!!
the guardian ad litem is filing for a reconsideration but not hopeful at all, given that the summary included none of her testimony and findings. she said she has never had a case reverse like this after a final hearing, EVER. the therapist said it just doesn't happen, it's never happened. my ex didn't even file any additional papers ... the summary is full of things that were never discussed in court. it says my daughter said "consistently" that i coached her, and that she "never" disclosed any abuse. i have all the paperwork saying the opposite, which i now have to file also for reconsideration. but all that paperwork was already filed in the original case.
why is this happening???? we all prayed and worked so hard. the judge really got down on my ex, and congratulated me. 7 days later he signs off on a summary that's false. i have NO legal advice, NO legal aid, NO way to get a lawyer - i exhausted all of my resources even tho i continue to search, nothing is available.
i don't understand. my ex didn't even try to prove his case. he sat there quietly and said nothing. the rest of us prevented intensely strong evidence (short of medical evidence). i feel like the courts are going to win no matter what.
my girl could be forced into seeing her dad as early as next week! even one tiny mention of her dad sends her into a downward spiral for weeks - and her therapist reported that to the court! this therapist is the most trusted one this judge hand-picked. why would he not believe her all of a sudden? something must be going on that i don't know about.
we got so close to normalcy! this is completely 100% out of my control. i let God. i thought everything was going to be okay. then WHAM! unless the guardian can get an emergency reconsideration, i have to somehow get a ride to take my daughter to a stranger, who from the short mention of him in the court papers, sounds quite biased towards fathers in these cases. she is never going to forgive me for not keeping her safe!!!
-- Edited by purpleraven on Friday 29th of April 2011 02:33:28 PM
I am sorry for your anxiety, I do not know what abuse your daughter suffered, nor do I know how old your daughter is, I can only hope that the supervision in the visits will keep her safe and that facing the source of her abuse will speed her recovery. I only hope that seeing him in person and knowing he is not allowed to hurt her may eventually make her feel more secure then knowing he's out there, but not knowing where or if she'll ever see him. You're in a hard place I am sorry.
thank you. my daughter was sexually abused by her father. it took 3 years for the court to say they beleived her because at the time it happened she "spoke far above the capacities of a 3-yr-old" which she did. she still speaks much higher than her age. like i said, the judge said the court believed she was abused. in the papers i got, there's no mention of it! i can't get a court transcript, even if i had a lawyer. they said not in civil trials, they're sealed. not because she's a minor. just sealed. i wish i had never moved here!!! but i was getting away from the ex's violence so i thought it was the right thing to do.
one hour at a time doesn't work any longer. i'm working on 5 minutes at a time. literally alone, very alone, not one person to talk to. why call a hotline, when i volunteered for them for years? it's more stressful trying to talk about why i'm upset than it is to just try to sleep through it. cna't do that, nightmares really bad. can't eat can't sleep now, drinking water but throwing it up. i have NEVER had stress like thi sin my life. no car. ex-Abf dumped us about 3 weeks ago. car died, gone. no groceries, no milk. stupid internet, yes. milk and cereal, no.
Is there not any services that you can turn to for immediate needs for you and your child?First things first. Take care of you so you can be strong and find a way to fight this for your child. I don`t know anything about the court system but there has to be ways outside of it to protect your daughter. I know your frustrations with the courts I had the rug pulled out from under me when I had temporary custody of my grandaughter when her mother was using crack. I asked for a hair folicle test many months later and the judge not only refused to give her a hair folicle test based on my daughters claims of abstinence, and tears to the judge, but he decided that same day she should return back to her mother !
Please take care of you. I will be praying for you and your daughter. Keep us posted..
