The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So glad I've found you all online. The meetings are wonderful, as well as the forum. It feels so good to know that others understand me and have been there.
I am doing things to help myself. After doing these steps, the biggest thing I see in my writings is fear. I am afraid I will be homeless, afraid I will have to assume responsibility for myself as well as my husband, afraid of the future.
Once I broke it down, there are definitely things I can do to alleviate fear now such as finding something I can do on the side to help build up my rainy day fund. I got hospital indemnity insurance in case of bills that may arise if in the hospital and can't pay doctors bills, etc. Will get long-term care insurance for self too, but need to look into that. Not sick, but self-employed. Mom used to say "poor mouse with one hole." Helps to create a plan b to minimize these fears and concerns.
As far as husband is concerned, the more I stop expecting him to act like a husband does, the more peace I feel. He's never going to get it, and I must accept that and move on. I live like a single person, and I know how to do that. Just better that I dont expect him to do or be anything. I ask God to help me with my fears and help me do his will and not my own (because that's where all the fear lies, with my hopes and dreams and not what God has planned for me). It has helped me immensely. I am not hearing the negative talk so much, and if I do I'm able to get myself under control a little quicker.
Set boundaries with my son, so I dont fear what he thinks of me. What I think of myself and the respectful treatment I deserve from him will be what I practice in my life. If he can't give that to me, no problem. I currently treat him in a business manner, and I'm getting the respect I deserve from him. He wants more, but for me it comes with too high of a price that I'm no longer willing to pay.
Just grateful to be alive and not wishing people dead (used to do that a lot). I wish all well and pray the find the peace they deserve. So grateful for this site. You guys are wonderful.
I'm so glad you found the board. It has helped me a lot as well.
I am happy that you are changing your thinking a bit. It seems to me that you can only do something so many times in a row to realize that it still doesn't work. Always room to change and it doesn't have to be scary.
This site was a life saver to me in the middle of the night when I would wake up in panic mode . This was a place I could visit and post something where I knew some trusted servant would answer my post, no matter what hour it was.
This place is a miracle, nothing short. I am glad you are here. Keep writing, Keep Coming Back.
