The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries.
The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smitten with it.
In the past when there were huge media events like Michael Jackson's funeral and other issues I've been so triggered I have not known what to do. I have just felt swamped. For Michael Jackson's funeral I had to just shut down.
Now when I feel triggerd I can set limits. I'm not shutting down but I'm also not willing to be swamped by stuff anymore.
So tonight I'm not going to sit up and let it all roll over me. I'm going to watch some but not too much. I'll have enough to say to my co workers and that's really all I need.
Self preservation came late in life for me. I know the triggers, grief, memories, what ifs.....
I just didn't know how to manage them before. For some reason I had this idea that wading in there was a way through it. What I found was it was a way to drown in it.
I'm so grateful to be in al anon and to have choices. I can slip off the waggon really quick. I can be triggered and not know when to stop. Now I can practice another way.
This may sound silly but what really helps me is that I don't watch t.v. I have enough in my world that I am so much more peaceful without the distractions. Thank you for sharing from the heart. {{{{{{{{ hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
