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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I need to vent!
Post Info TOPIC: I need to vent!
Crazy Frog


Veteran Member

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I need to vent!
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I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you.
But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you)
I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwelcome I am in his family now
Somehow I didn't feel angry a bit sad but really I was never part of the family just a foreigner really who is very direct. I am trying to keep some kind if communication opened for the future and my kid . Silent treatment might be a great tool for alcoholics but not very effective! I guess I wAnt reassurance it will work out for the best by taking a day at a time let go of the blaming anger resentment rejection selfishness but I am not entirely sure about this.
Anyway one thing is certain I am detached from this crazy system of a family
Can't control it.
Thank you for listening



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Tattyhead


Senior Member

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C.F you are doing so well in recognising what is going on here; that you are deemed the outsider in this (your OH's family) but you WILL rise above it. You are now looking out for You and your Child. Well done - and hopes and prayers that things will turn out well for all of you.

Love, (((hugs))) and very best wishes from across the pond,

Trish xxx

 

 



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RLC


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1483
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Crazy Frog,

We have a slogan in Al-anon that goes: "It's none of my business what someone else thinks about me". Very true, we only have control over ourselves. Why waste time, energy, and our serenity over things out of our control. At the end of the day we are the only person effected by our resentments and anger.

Everything always goes back to Step One.....with a twist....."We are powerless over alcohol.....but we "must not" allow it to make our lives unmanageable". That, we are in control of.

HUGS,
RLC

P.S. Crazy Frog you might not be welcome in your AH's family, but you are always welcomed and loved in your MIP family.



-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 28th of April 2011 04:44:51 PM

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tommyecat


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1594
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Yes, you are always welcome here.  Keep coming back!



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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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oh do I ever relate! I had NO idea AH was talking bad about me to others! I never understood what made his friends and family not like me.

It about killed me when I found out. I hate the disease.

Thats how insane it is. He talked bad about them to me too! He talked bad about this one gal when we were still married.

But who did he move in with, yep that gal. He parasites off her now., ugh.

hugs honey, makes it easier to stay away from the A when the disease makes them betray us like that. Hurts a lot.

Glad you shared. Reminds me how far I have gotten., love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

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That was not venting. That was sorting through difficult emotions and trying to come up with a solution on how to handle a very challenging situation. Doing what you just did is a way of asking for help and doing that here and at meetings is exactly how you are going to get through this. It may feel like crap right now, but it's truly the start of a new freedom and I think you expressed that in the last few lines of your share.

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Crazy Frog


Veteran Member

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Posts: 94
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You are right Pinkchip, i wam looking for help but i had a breakthrough today.

My Ah called me names i am a coward, a quitter, i am deceitful and i am cruel. there was lots of screaming and swearing and calling names this morning but i stayed calm I didnt argue i didnt blame him i just asked him if he felt good to be able to express himself and he said yes. Most importantly i aws able to make him undersatnd how important it will be for us to talk to our daughter and we will have to work together on what to say. he agreed! he wont agree on the content but this is very positive news. the alcoholic "garbage" I can handle by working my steps, running extra miles to vent the anger out or laugh with friends. so i guess its very emotional and difficult but there is hope and freedom is now closer.

Too bad its still snowing here! Thank you for your support.



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