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Is there an Al-Anon type program for people dealing with somebody who suffers from an eating disorder?
My alcoholic girlfriend also has bulimia, and if anything it has become more severe since she stopped drinking. I have been working on myself with Al-Anon principles, and that certainly can't hurt, but I would like to talk to some people with experience in this sort of thing.
I have been told by quite a few people that nearly all female alcoholics have an eating disorder of one type or another, so it seems like this should be a common topic... but it's really not, as far as I can tell.
Hi there BL, I have an eating disorder and had to seek treatment for my control issue myself. Not sure if she is seeing someone already as far as a therapist or counselor, but that is the route I went to get help. Is she interested in receiving such help? If so there are lots of places you can do a search online even for your area and find people who specialize in such help.
__________________
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
I, too, have an eating disorder and have gone the therapy route. I needed more personal, one-on-one individual treatment with someone that understood my exact issue. A therapist advised that I attend some ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) meetings. I did that - there were people with all varieties of eating disorders. The meetings did not help me, to be honest. Maybe it was because I was not ready, or maybe because part of what fueled my eating disorder was competition. I found that for me, being in a group setting with sick people made my eating disorder worse. I am able to get the help I need in therapy. I have been able to implement some of the Alanon principles, yes, but I don't go into Alanon meetings talking about my eating disorder. I have found that the therapy avenue has been more helpful in dealing with the eating disorder because therapy is where I can actually strip away all the lies and get honest about the particular behaviors I want to stop.
Yes, she is interested in getting help, and is considering going back to the therapist of some flavor that she saw about this before. But I think she is putting dealing with her alcoholism first on the priority list, and I really can't argue with that, as bad as she was.
But what I would really like to know is if there are any programs for me, the significant other of a person who suffers from an eating disorder. Al-Anon has been wonderful for me, and if there is an Al-Anonish group to help people living with people with eating disorders, I would like to check it out. Sorry if that wasn't clear from my original post, this "I want help to help myself because I need help and I'm dating a person who needs help" sort of situation can lead to confusing statements and weird sentence structure.
-- Edited by B_L on Wednesday 20th of April 2011 12:34:27 PM
Based on a search on the web, it doesn't appear there's a twelve-step program specifically geared towards families and friends of people suffering with eating disorders.
If you're looking for twelve-step help, I know for myself that I've found I can pretty much apply the Al-Anon program to most situations in my life that I have no control over. Instead of the word "alcohol" in step one, I can pretty much insert the words "other people, places and things". If you feel you need something that's not going to center around alcoholism, there's CoDA (Co-Dependents Anonymous). I find most of us in relationships with people suffering from particular afflictions can tend to be pretty co-dependent (otherwise we wouldn't keep tossing our serenity out the door every time something goes haywire with the people we care about.)
You may also want to check the National Eating Disorders Association: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
Although I don't see any specific twelve-step mentions in their material.
A good friend of mine is dealing with an 18 year old bulimic daughter, and I find myself giving him Al-Anonish advice.
I'll second what Aloha says in that the principles of this program can apply across all sorts of issues, not just addiction and alcoholism. In fact, a lot of what my friend describes of her compulsivity looks very much like addiction.
__________________
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
If you are already attending Al-Anon your half way there already this program works for all relationships , your powerless over other people so we go to acceptance of who they are . When obsession raises its ugly head were right back into insanity . All of my relationships have improved because of the principles we learn in our program . I have no control over anything but my attitude in any given situation , if there is not a part in the problem for me I let go and give them to God ..
Thanks, all. I didn't have any luck searching around either, but figured I would ask the experts here.
If you're looking for twelve-step help, I know for myself that I've found I can pretty much apply the Al-Anon program to most situations in my life that I have no control over. Instead of the word "alcohol" in step one, I can pretty much insert the words "other people, places and things".
Yeah, that's what I've been doing, and it has worked ok so far, I just wish there was some way to find other folks to talk to who are significant others of those who suffer from eating disorders.
I've taken a few Al-Anon tips I've heard and read and fit them to my situation. I figure if I shouldn't say "you've been drinking again, haven't you?", I probably shouldn't say "you just made yourself vomit again, didn't you?" But I don't know if flat-out ignoring it is the right tactic either...
Another sticky wicket is that I know she has immense body-image issues that probably spawned this whole deal in the first place, and because of that she alternately loves it or gets mad as hell when I compliment how she looks. I don't want to stop complimenting her, I really do think she is incredibly beautiful, but being able to tell when I should keep my mouth shut would be handy.
This is all very confusing. I wish there were others in my position I could easily talk to...
