The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
this is a great message....the language of letting go must have been thinking of me...cause my **tolerence* is being tested with me!!!!
Tolerance
Practice tolerance.
Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our ups and downs, our resistance to change, and our struggling and sometimes awkward nature.
#####ROSIE...today i am being tolerent of my slowness to love myself...i am working it it day to day and i shall **keep on keeping on* because i am worth it....i am **perfectly imperfect* and when i look at it in that light, i can be more forgiving to me
Tolerate our fears, our mistakes, our natural tendency to duck from problems, and pain.
#######ROSIE.....i am becomming more gentle and understanding and patient with my fear my needs won't be met....my tendency to go into my **escapism* mode when problems arise
Tolerate our hesitancy to get close, expose ourselves, and be vulnerable.
#####ROSIE...i am patient with my hesitancy, and i am willing to get close **inch by inch* as the other person shows me they are safe!!!!! i am willing and open to be vulnerable **when* i think they are safe.....
Tolerate our need to occasionally feel superior, to sometimes feel ashamed, and to occasionally share love as an equal. Tolerate the way we progress - a few steps forward, and a couple back.
######ROSIE... .i am becomming more patient with people who do not work the program but instead just want to complain and whine, without looking to a **solution*.....i am becomming more tolerent of myself and my still lingering, but lessening shame based beliefs.....and i am being more tolerent in the fact that recovery is 2 steps forward---1 back...and that sometimes i may not **feel* anything going on, but to just have **blind faith* in the process
Tolerate our instinctive desire to control and how we reluctantly learn to practice detachment.
######ROSIE....i am being patient with my need to have control in order to avoid the feelings of **helplessness* i felt so many times in fact constantly as a child...i know that i do have my "christ within* and i can do steps 1,2,3, if i am powerless--- i am learning that powerless is not helpless.....i can look within for the **best within me* for help.......the great spirit resides in all of us...i am finding mine
Tolerate the way we say we want love, and then sometimes push others away. Tolerate our tendency to get obsessive, forget to trust God, and occasionally get stuck.
#####ROSIE......yes, i am being patient with myself in that i want love , than i run from it, however as i recover i am seeing the ones i **run from* were not safe....i fear intimacy, but iam willing to walk through those fears, when and if it is meant to be that i have an intimate relationship....for now, i have my familyand friends......i tolerate my tendency to obsess over my needs being met in the future when i am older....and i also forgive me when i fail to trust in god....and i reap the karma **trying to do it on my own steam*
Some things we do not tolerate. Do not tolerate abusive or destructive behaviors toward others or ourselves.
######ROSIE.....i do not shall not will **never* again let anyone abuse me...when i was a child i was an innocent/ helpless/ defenseless little being who at that time had no help...no hope...no defense....no safe person or place to run to....i was in a trap.....that was then ...this is now and the **now* me is going to protect me.....i have **cut loose* a lot of family and non-family members who tried to abuse me or be toxic to my recovery...i have worked for 19 long and hard months to get where i am in my recovery and i will **kick to the curb* anyone who is abusive or threatening/destructive to me......and i will NOT abuse myself....when i get frustrated with me i get into a meet, call my sponser, work the steps/ program, i do my self talk......i work the hell out of the program and it is giving me other ways to discharge negative feelings........
Practice healthy, loving tolerance of ourselves, said one man. When we do, we'll learn tolerance for others. Then, take it one step further. learn that all the humanness we're tolerating is what makes ourselves and others beautiful.
#######ROSIE.....i know it **has to begin with me* if want love, i must begin within me **first* if i want my needs met, yes, i will go to trusted others, but it is up to me, if they cannot help me, to go elsewhere for my needs being met....the responsibility lies with me...if i want to play tennis and noone is around to hit with??? i find a way to play with myself on the ball machine or hit against the wall, the bottom line is always gonna be me....i am working to not be **independent* where i don't need anyone....i am not trying to be **dependent* because than i will always be sellling out to please people so i don't get abandoned or let down, and thus resentful.....i work to be **interdependent* where i take care of me/ put my needs first so i can have something to give others.......i know i am my own rescuer, my bottom line for my love/ acceptance/ worthiness/ taking care of me......it **begins and ends with me* when i die, its between me and my god....i could be surrounded by loved ones...but it is still --- end result-- me and my higher power!!!! i must love me in order to radiate it out to the universe
Today, I will be tolerant of myself. From that, I will learn appropriate tolerance of others.
######ROSIE...right at this moment i am having to **make* myself be tolerent of my typing......i keep reversing letters...i don't know if i have dislexia, or its my racing mind??? oh well more stuff to be tolerent of.....i just may have to do the first three steps on this one....it seems it goes hand in hand with anxiety/ racing mind....cause when i am really mellow, i can type better......i am being tolerent in that instead of cussing myself, i will **easy does it* and slow down.............thank you, done , rosie