The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I really wish I could deposit my OH in a rehab centre but that option is unavailable to me - on the NHS (in UK), at least. I could really do with the respite if nothing else.
OH is drinking again in earnest despite having been hopsitalised for 3 weeks last year during which he nearly died. At the weekend he was unwell Saturday but Sun sat with Son and I for a roast Sun lunch (although did not eat much), had soup and bread for supper and seemed reasonably well (for him). Today he has been in bed, vomiting all day. I had a bad day at work so could have done without coming home to that. I took Son, who was very tense and stressed, out to local pub for supper which cheered him a bit but I am totally worn out by it all. I feel defeated by this horrible disease which keeps us on this never ending not-so-merry-go round. What drives me to despair is the fact that OH has not tried to beat it, he has just rolled over and let it overtake him. Obviously Son, Daughter and I are not worth fighting for.
Hi Tish.... I hear your pain, and sorry it's getting you down right now.... Your one comment:
"What drives me to despair is the fact that OH has not tried to beat it, he has just rolled over and let it overtake him. Obviously Son, Daughter and I are not worth fighting for"
The slogan that comes to mind is QTIP (quit taking it personally) - if he could "get better just because he loves you guys", then he surely would.... if it were only that easy.... Not an excuse, but he is consumed by his disease right now - if he could simply "choose" love over his addiction, I think most would choose love..... He is sick, and is making bad choices - that much is clear.... it doesn't mean he doesn't love you your kids - it just means that his addiction is winning at the moment....
Keep the faith, and choose recovery for you and the sake of your kids....
Take care Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I hear you and so understand the pain and exhaustion that you are feeling.
Please know that you are not alone and remember that it is so very important for you to continue to focus on yourself and take care of you at this difficult time.
You are doing the best you can in an extremely difficult situation Take the positive actions for you and your family and turn the results over to HP.
This disease is so powerful and cunning you . You and family are in my prayers.
ah tish I remember feeling the way you do right now , his disease tells him he cant live with out alcohol its not about you it really isnt personal at all .. if love could cure alcoholism we woulndt need treatment centers or programs of recovery most alcoholics recieve more love than one person deserves , take care of your son and you , you are the only one u have any control over ..
