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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was reading today's Dear Abby online with interest. The column received a lot of backlash from the community in regards to advice that had been given regarding it being okay to give alcohol as a gift.
There were a lot of interesting responses, obviously from many people who have suffered as a result of the disease of alcoholism.
The interesting thing to me was that while I was reading the responses... most of which were that alcohol is a terrible idea for a gift... I kept thinking "Yes, but the drinking is but a symptom of the disease." and on top of that "Now these people are blaming a person who was not knowledgeable of someone else's drinking problem for creating more problems by gifting alcohol."
Al-Anon has taught me the three C's... I didn't Cause it. I can't Control it. I can't Cure it. Would I gift alcohol to someone if I know for sure they have a drinking problem? My answer would be most definitely "No." But because I'm not an all-powerful being who can read minds and immediately pinpoint an alcoholic from 50 yards away, I am not the reason for blame should I unknowingly gift someone alcohol. The "blame", should that person get themselves in trouble by drinking, is entirely the problem drinker's to shoulder.
All of that said. With my own experience in living with alcoholism, I don't really think I'd ever be comfortable giving someone alcohol as a gift, whether I know they have a problem or not. But at the same time, I don't think it would be fair of me to get upset with someone who innocently gave someone alcohol without knowing that person they gave it to has a drinking problem.
Good post Aloha...my experience is that thru education of what alcohol is...A mind and mood altering chemical which isn't a food or health source and can and will negatively affect every organ in the body and the drinkers (don't have to be alcoholic for it to happen) emotions, spirit and thinking process; the gift would infact be a detriment to the receiver.
We in the program have come to understand that alcohol is cunning, powerful and baffling. We need to pass that awareness on without twisting arms or other forms of force.
I've been trying to do that for years however mess with alcohol and you mess with millions of people who rely on it. Trusting God and following directions.
Interesting stuff.... I have given alcohol as a gift in my past, but doubt that I would do it again.... this stuff effects us in different ways...... when my ex-AW was deep into her addiction, I got a job offer from a headhunter - huge money and wonderful benefits - as a marketing distributor for a major high-end alcohol provider..... There was NO way I could even consider it.....
I stopped drinking for well over five years, and was kind of astounded at the social stigma that exists around alcohol.... It seemed to make others more uncomfortable than me, and that was a real eye opener.... I went back to social drinking a couple of years back - not entirely sure why - but I still don't like hanging out with anyone who drinks to excess, slurring their words, etc....
Thanks for the post Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I would not give anything potentialy harmful to someone if it has no real benefit.
I don't crusade against all alcohol use. I mind alcohol abuse or alcohol for me. I don't really see a safe use for it in most people. It does make a good grease remover or lamp fuel though. With some changes a car will run on it too.
-- Edited by All I can be on Friday 28th of January 2011 05:04:50 PM
-- Edited by All I can be on Friday 28th of January 2011 05:13:01 PM
Kelly I read the column also. I know exactly what I would do now without exception, no question.
In the past (10 years ago) I was guilty of giving a close friend alcohol each Christmas as a gift. I knew he drank, knew what he drank, I knew he enjoyed several drinks every afternoon. We were next door neighbors at the time. Several years later he became an alcoholic and the disease now controls his life.
Even though I didn't cause him to become an alcoholic, I did participate in my own small way.
As Jerry sometimes states, I didn't know what I didn't know.
Now I do know.
I know how the disease takes control, destroys families, marriages and anything and everything it touches. I know the effects and how it has affected my life and millions of others.
Now I know what I didn't know. I would not give anyone a "gift" that "should" have a label on every bottle stating:
"Warning this bottle contains a liquid that is be cunning, baffling, and powerful, can take over the mind, body, and spirit of the person consuming it, over time it has been known to cause insanity and death. Drink with caution".
That's what I know now that I didn't know then.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Saturday 29th of January 2011 01:09:34 AM
RLC...that missing information on the bottle is a huge indicator of the alcohol industry's arrogance. They know and they know that they know but will not say it aloud to their user base. Trying to change it. (((hugs)))
I have given and received alcohol for a gift. I have never thought twice about this.
Maybe I don't know enough about it, but I wouldn't have a problem with it today either.
I know I wouldn't be giving gifts like that to people I knew that had issues. I actually received a bottle for Christmas, now that I'm thinking about it.
Alcohol has never been associated with a positive or happy experience in my life. Therefore I don't drink nor would I ever promote alcohol by giving it as a gift. I made that decision years ago.
Only once have I ever recieved alcohol as a gift from new friends who didn't know I don't drink. I re-gifted the bottle of wine to a friend who I know likes a glass every now and then.
I wasn't sure if that was the appropriate thing to do but, I didn't even want the wine in my house. That is how much I hate what alcohol has done to people in my life.
I totally agree that drinking is only 1% of the disease and it is none of MY business what someone else does or doesn't do with alcohol. I set MY boundries, I made MY decisions and I am content.
