Victim Impact Statement - Al-Anon Family Group

helpme08 · Member

Victim Impact Statement

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

My thoughts are:

What did he say exactly that scared you?

What did he do exactly that caused you to get help?

It is important to be as open and exact as you can. Not just how he made you feel but more exactly what did he do/say that made you feel that way.

Ex. He raises his arms and runs towards me and puts his face in mine and yells you're a dead b.

I know it would be hard for me, but when I got the restraining order I told the judge exactly what made me afraid for my life and my kiddo's lives.

One of my best friends is a retired judge. I learned from him to put my emotions more to what made me react like I did. Judges need to know the down and dirty to make a wise decision.

What made you feel you and son were not safe alone with him.

Hope this helps hon. I am sad it has come to this. The disease can really raise such horrible havoc for the A and the ones who care and love them.

hugs,debilyn

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

The truth is always powerful .. the way it was .

kerry5 · Senior Member

I have had to fill out three victim impact statements last year. Its just answering very honestly. Scared because... Causes stress and or lack of sleep because.... Fear for the emotional safety your son because.... If he gives any kind of threats make sure you write them in there. Answer the questions that applys to you. as honestly as you can without protecting him :)

Hope this helps.

KErry

lacewing · Veteran Member

I am sorry you have gone through this - I have been where you are.

I know that the domestic violence advocates helped me cope when I was in similar shoes - they were right there by my side through the whole process. They validated my feelings, my fears and suggested a number of things to help me learn how to protect my daughter and myself during that time and for possible future situations. I was even told that they were allowed to stand beside me while I spoke to the judge...that in itself was a gift - as I was petrified, and she was right there - giving me physical and emotional support throughout the hearing.

Perhaps you could call the Domestic Violence Agency in your area, tell them what happened and that you are in need of help and support during this time - they are wonderful and very responsive with all sorts of resources to help you every step of the the way. Many of the advocates in this field are victims themselves and totally can relate to what you are going through with empathy and a wonderful support system available for you to get the help you need. You will find the telephone number (most times a toll free number too) in your phone book, or you could call the Police Dept - they have the number available as well. :o)

I wish you strength, courage and a comforting resolution!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.