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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> tired
Post Info TOPIC: tired
pattyann1963


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tired
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my a/drug addict b/f drinks more when he is off work any idle time he has from work is drinking,i stayed 2 days with him and was all the ready to come home he was already acting drunk by the time i left tocome home,my friend told me that i was or i didnt have any sense messing with him,sometimes i think by insanity that he just might not drink around me just for 2 or 3 days one time a mth is all that i cc him but nope he drinks and drinks enyway i need and have to find my way out of this addictive relationship that going nowhere,my freind keeps telling me to just go through my withdraws and get over him immediatly im 47 y/o and hate being alone just having him for a little bit sure does help with the lonelyness for he is so affectionate,i dont know what to do with him he isnt a man i could even introduce to my grown kids they would disown me if they knew him and about him,i need esh plz help me,,,,love patty

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Hayes


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I am new on here. I am not too sure what to say other that I understand. And I understand the compulsion to avoid the loneliness. Hugs to you.

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Hayes
Bettina


~*Service Worker*~

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I understand pattyann, I think we all can relate. I would have given anything to have more sober moments with my XA.

I use to treasure the 3 minutes that he would call me everyday from work on his break, for three minutes he was at work and he never drank on the job. So for those three minutes he was sober. He use to ask me what I wanted for Christmas and I would tell him all I want is for you to be sober, one whole day for the holiday, sometimes he would make it thru a day, but not the nite, but it was ok, because I would go to bed.

I guess if you live with an alcoholic, all we have are moments and sometimes not even that. We have to ask ourselves, is this the choice I want for my life. I have to be honest and say if they dont stop drinking, it only spirals more and more out of control.

All we can do is work on ourselves and our own programs, pray to our HP to guide us. We have to realize that its not about them. We have the power to make for ourselves the life that will lead us to serenity with courage.

Luv, Bettina

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Bettina
Debilyn


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Hon it is not a crime to love an A's attention. Just becuz he is ill does not make you a bad person to want to be around him.

Just does not matter what anyone else thinks.

What I see from your share however is you are not happy with the way he is. You of course wish he was sober. We learn in Al Anon that we cannot control anyone but ourselves. If he is not someone you want to be around anymore, becuz of how YOU feel, then you have your answer.

I remember being in your spot. I would pray for the phone to ring I was so lonely. My husband had died, I was stuck up in the mountains completely alone. I had not learned how to be ok alone yet.

I am telling you it is possible. There are tough times of course! But there are hard times with him too. Which can you handle better?

If you decide it is better to stop being around him, one thing that helps is letting our friends and family know what we need from them. I got pretty down awhile back. I called one friend and told her, she told another, they both kept me going.

We have to ask for what we need.

I am glad you found this spot. I find reading the posts very, very helpful.Everyone here has something to give.

I know lonliness, it is my life right now. I have found when I am busy I do better, or when I find a good book and get lost in it. I come here so much I know some are sick of me!

this spot can help you.

At the top of the message board on Frequently asked questions, there is a site you can find for meetings. I am telling you to be around others who understand would be so much help.

I have trouble going to face to face meetings as I am disabled. But even so, lately I have been feeling like it is time to get my body out the door and go again.

Glad you are here, keep coming. love,debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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