The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Made it through the holiday with the Abf. He gave me some nice gifts including diamond earrings. Very special to me, esp after I got the speech that jewelry was overpriced and a waste of money and I wouldn't be getting any.
So today while his son was at the relatives, I was trying to come up with fun things for us today. Then I got mauled by the, it's my time off and I should be able to smoke some holiday cheer and do nothing. I said fine, that was ok with me, but I was not going to hang around and do nothing while he was sleeping and all red eyed talking to me all slow and that I would just go home. No yelling. Just stating that I had a choice as well.
So I proceeded to get screamed at about how disrespectful I am and how I need to shut my 'xxxx' mouth and how I can't even spend one day over there without acting like a 'xxxx'. Of course I left. And left the earrings and ring he gave me behind. He has a child coming home in a couple of hours. A kid who tells me all the time to please hang out with them and not go home. Wonder why?
Anyway, just had to vent a bit. Not angry or crying, just realizing that some people have other priorities that I can't understand, so I just need to stay away I guess. I can't say I haven't tried. I can't meet everybody's needs and I can't expect everyone to meet mine.
-- Edited by canadianguy on Sunday 26th of December 2010 07:15:42 PM
I'm proud of you, it's called taking care of yourself first. The earrings were a gift, not and entitlement that you must accept behaviour you find unacceptable. You know your priorities and you did the next right thing for yourself. Good for you and......................
Thanks RLC. I try to believe that I am doing the right things. I appreciate the feedback.
Thanks for the hugs! Gosh this is a constant struggle that I really need out of. Time for the pros and cons list. I'm going to jump on that right now while it's in my head.
You did Well! Proud of you and you should be proud of yourself as well. Not easy in the mix of a relationship, thankfully, you didn't bite. Your dignity is intact, even if it isn't the Christmas you had hoped for.
In the end, given the circumstances you gave yourself the best Christmas gift.
