The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Im Lori , an Alanoner that hasn't been working or applying the program to me very well lately . I have a sponsor ( actually 2 of them, since Im a sober alcoholic thru AA 6 yrs, and my AA sponsor is also Alanon ). Unfortuneately, Im the type of person who either waits till its so bad that I lose it and blow up, and then call the sponsor , or I just blow off whatever problem Im facing with whatever A Im dealing with at the time. And Ive got plenty of them in my life ....
Mom who is long time addicted to painkillers lives near me. Dad in another state is a boozer, but he rarely causes me trouble. Younger brother in another state is alcoholic in denial. Older brother in another state who is dry drunk, prescription addict. Daughter here who is pot smoker and Son in another state who is a drunkie/junkie too. Ugh! All of these ppl I love so much. And the Ones who are far away aren't as bothersome as the ones near. Which makes sense.
Alanon meetings are a drive as there arent any in my town. Closest one is 35 miles one way. I have all the books, all the daily readers and I do read at least one every day, as i have a habit of reading the AA ones as well.
So, Im just gonna get re-involved here and read, listen and learn for awhile to refresh my brain as to why I need Alanon.
I'm sorry you have more than your share of troubles. I'm glad you are here. I have learned a lot of things (maybe I haven't applied them so well yet lol).
Just wanted to say welcome. Definitely worth the time.
My family of origin is a long list of alcoholics, addicts and people with severe mental illness. That is a hard burden to bear!
I have learned to love them from afar but to get them I did a lot of grieving.
Stephen Levine who is a meditation teacher has some forgiveness meditations that I have found useful. I have gone to some of his seminars where he talked about how hard it is to forgive someone who is constantly hurting us. No one is perfect. Personally I think its my life work to forgive my parents and come to terms with them and my siblings. I have days when I can and other days when I am all churned up all over again. Nevertheless I have made tremendous progress.
We all have limitations, finances, transportation, more. There are ways around them although of course being al anoner's we want the perfect ones.
It feels so good to vent on hear and have others listen who really understand what your going through. I have to say that I am SO happy and proud to hear that you are sober 6 years. That is so amazing!!! I believe how much easier it is when you have those addicts far away from you, so you don't have to deal with it or live in it the mess they create. Makes life MUCH easier. You could try to seek out some new people who aren't addicts in your life and surround yourself with them. Do you go to church? I grew up Catholic, but started going to a Christian church that has completely changed my life, if you can find something like that, that inspires you and makes you happy and gives you something more in your life....then that's a small feat too :)
Hi Lori. It sounds like you have plenty of A's in your life to deal with. I'm glad you found this place, it can be such a help. It sure has been and continues to be for me. Daily reading is good. So are meetings. I've never been to a f2f meeting because there aren't any around where I live. But the online meetings here are great, I recommend them. Thanks for sharing and keep coming back!
Welcome home, as you are so far from anything we welcome you with open arms. You are not alone by any means. We have all been there and we are here for you.
You will find much ESH here and much love and understanding.
Keep coming back and join the meetings they will help I promise you will get what you need here.
Hi Lori welcome to MIP! You just walked into a treasured home.
Your history is so much like my ex A's. It's wonderful you are working on you and doing your best to stay in recovery from this awful disease.
Makes me so sad to hear of your whole families addictions. I used to love my ex's family so much. They used to be in recovery, then they all fell apart. My bil though honestly was in such strong recovery many years, it was almost like they blamed him for being in such a good place. Broke my heart for him.
I grew up with this family. Though my family was the opposite.
Well we are all here for different reasons. I tell ya Lori I am a better person for all the skills I have learned right here at MIP and from the book,"Getting Them Sober." Plus my A used to be an inspiration to me.
Sadly he had a brain tumor surgery that caused medical relapse and brain damage. But I need this home in my life. The support is great, and if I am blowing it, our friends here are not afraid to tel me. Thank goodness.
In fact the ones I bumped heads with the most are the ones I feel closest to!
I have learned to not be afraid of conflict from here, I know how to deal with it now. Am comfortable in my own skin. Learning about Aism was so good for me. I used to feel guilty for loving my AH all my life. I was miserable, in pain from my AH's huge change. We married when he was in strong recovery for years. I was ignorant to addiction. So it tore me apart hearing things he said, things he did.
When I learned it is a disease, I detached, loved him, hated the disease. NO longer bitter or scared.
Anyway you share as much as you want. Also my new friend there are GREAT meetings right here in the chat room. And also open chat can be helpful and fun too. I met my best friend here!
GREAT to meet you Lori. (((((((((Lori))))))))) debilyn
Welcome back home Lori!! Next right things are good so you're gonna do fine (not the AA acronym please). When you're ready well help you start your own Al-Anon meeting in your own neighborhood. Latest MIP report of a new "nonner" meeting is in Africa and I believe that one has just celebrated a month since first opening its doors. Let it begin with me!!
Thankyou Everyone for the warm welcome, thankyou SO much!
Myself and a couple others in this community have tried to open/start Alanon meetings and there was little or no support. So, I realize that if I want help then I will travel. However it is winter time in northern Michigan and I tend to be lazy in the winter ... eat dinner, watch the news, and stay in for the night .
I am trying to deal with a few of my A's currently and think to myself how stupid my concerns and issues are , therefor makes me afraid to even post or ask for help. I remember about 5 yrs ago when I was about ayear sober myself and having trouble with my Mom and my AA sponsor said " Lori, you need to go to / work Alanon". I couldnt understand why I needed yet another 12 step program .. I was already working 1 and thought it would help me. I was wrong , and then began attending Alanon meetings, and trying to work the steps, etc. Its been 5 yrs and I am very laxed in the Alanon program , but know how much it will help me.
I do have a question .. Is there anyone here who has worked the 12 Steps of Alanon and would be willing to guide me thru them? I would greatly appreciate the help. My f2f sponsor in the town about 35 miles from me has been in Alanon for almost 30 yrs and has never worked the steps which excludes her from helping me work them. I would really like to work them the way I did/do the AA steps.
Again, thankyou for all the responses here, and maybe I should search the board out for a sponsorship area in itself if there is one? If not, I might have to make this a separate request ..
You sure are in the right place I have several A's in my life also, most in different states and yes they are easier to deal with. Our son however who is an addict currently just finished a jail/rehab program, is still in jail but now goes out each day to look for work and he must find work before he is released. I don't have any meetings around me so all my recovery 2 yrs now has been done online and it's worked beautifully for me. Please check out our meetings here online, they are held twice a day and they are great meetings. Congrats on your AA recovery...I love sucess stories Blessings
. I have a sponsor ( actually 2 of them, since Im a sober alcoholic thru AA 6 yrs, and my AA sponsor is also Alanon ). Unfortuneately, Im the type of person who either waits till its so bad that I lose it and blow up, and then call the sponsor , or I just blow off whatever problem Im facing with whatever A Im dealing with at the time. And Ive got plenty of them in my life ....
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