The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Over the weekend I had the opportunity to connect with myself on a spiritual level. I looked into my own eyes and told myself the distroted belief systems that I had been following since childhood ere wrong such as That i was strong, that I had to take care of others, That others needed me, that others pain came before mine and so on and so on. I told myself that I forgave myself for not taking care of me. This was a very emotional experience. I promised myself that as from now I will be the number one person in my life and that this IS NOT SELFISH. I even laughed with myself how silly I have been by not putting me first.
Today i spoke to my A from rehab he is doing amazing 4 months in and is allowed home at weekends. I told him I want less contact just one phone call through week instead of chattting every night. I told him he can still visit at weekends but I really need to focus on myself and making my life manageable. I will be honest I did feel uncomfortable doing this all the old talk in my mind was chatting it was selfish but I ignored it and made a choice took and action that was consistent with what I promised myself at the weekend. My A was great he said it was fine. He sent me a text saying keep it in the day I love you. This support meant so much and proves he is working a programme.
just recently a lady on here asked me to identify my needs and i couldnt it made me realise just how much I neglect me. Well al anon says we will love you till you love yourself, hopefully I am fineally starting to love me.
thanks hugs tracy
-- Edited by Tracy on Monday 6th of December 2010 01:27:39 PM
Tracy Great share. It was a real miracle when I discovered that by taking care of myself, I did not have to ignore others. In fact , I found the better i took care of myself the more time and energy I had and I could be there for others. I could give without any expectations and still take care of me